Strange Machines

No guarantees you won’t go mad halfway but they’re better than nothing. I’ve chalked up a minimum of 900 hours nursing Jack to bed (counting the first sleep only, mind you) while lying in the dark. You can’t surf on your phone or read a book - baby will see the light and not sleep. So here’s what I’ve been able to make up to do instead.

1. Relearn the multiplication table - good practice for future math tutoring.

2. Remember your baby’s birth. Wasn’t it sweet?

3. Remember the best times in your life.

4. Remember the worst. Isn’t it nice to be nursing in the dark instead?

5. Consider alternate histories. My latest thing I made up tonight. Got stuck on conversation but it was interesting. Might make for fascinating dreams.

6. Plan for tomorrow, next week, next year.

7. Plan baby’s next birthday party: who to invite, what food to serve.

8. Run through any of the WoW dungeons in your head. (Former WoW players only.)

9. Fantasize about a contact lens that works as a monitor for you to surf or play games online with a thimble for a mouse. You can see I’ve been thinking about this a while…

10. Replay a favourite movie in your mind. Or select scenes if you have a bad memory.

What do you think of when you’re nursing in the dark?

I’m a real laid back Mom. As a teen, danger was my middle name. I have the proud scars and trophies to show for it. And a fond memory of a black Kawasaki trail bike I spray painted myself, whom I named Tommy Ray after a character in Clive Barker’s grand novel The Great and Secret Show.

As a kid, I loved to play in the mud, climb trees, windows, the gate, just about everything and I never fell. I loved the outdoors and I loved risky adventures. We had a small garden filled with lots of plants and trees where a little girl could bring her stuffed animal friends and play make believe. It was a wonderful, happy, stress-free childhood.

I intend for Jack to have the same.

So it is to no surprise that I not only encourage my son to climb, jump, play in mud, I also teach him safety rules. For instance, when he climbs, he must concentrate on what he’s doing, and he must hold on with both hands. If he needs help, he must ask. And I’ll only let him climb places which I deem safe, which is almost anywhere.

These days I am lazy and loathe the sun, but I will slather on sunblock and be prepared to swelter just so my boy can enjoy the park nearby and visit the lovely jungle trails at our zoo. And oh he loves it. He’ll swing like a monkey on the handrails while we wait for the tram and race through the path like a speeding bullet. He’s the most active child I know.

Research agrees risky fun play is critical for survival skills like making judgement calls and assessing danger, especially in this modern world:

According to the study, kids need the adventure of “risky” play: “Risk-taking increases the resilience of children,” said one researcher. “It helps them make judgments,” said another. They list examples of risky play that should be encouraged including fire-building, den-making, watersports, paintballing, boxing and climbing trees.

Arnon Lotem, a researcher at Tel Aviv University, found that modern people have adopted risk-taking behaviors similar to those of animals like rats and bees. And this behavior, Prof. Lotem says might not prepare humankind for the types modern dangers we face every day — like crossing the street, accepting a high-risk mortgage, driving on the freeway, or flying a plane.

(Sources: New Study: Kids Need the Adventure of “Risky” Play; Humans Evolved to Fear Snakes, Not High-Risk Mortgages or Risks at Traffic Lights)

Jack’s fave hangout is the zoo now. We’ve gone 3 times already this month and looks like this weekend we might head there again. I attempted to bond with the frustrated white tiger that keeps pacing but he refuses to blink back at me. The lioness that naps on the perch almost did though.

Last time, Jack and his cousin Kaitlyn sang nursery rhymes all the way to the zoo. Both kids also went cheek to cheek with the giraffes and we had a few pics taken. On the way home, both dozed off with their mouths open.

Today we spent most of our time with the zebras and giraffes. When asked if he wanted to sit on the elephants, he said, look only. Later at home, he said, not scared, ready to ride. At the exit, we saw a baby horse and Jack petted it gently!

Meanwhile, Jack loves to smile for the camera now, although for now, it looks more of a grimace.

The one thing I wanted real bad as a kid was to celebrate Halloween. How could I not? All the books I read had children in funny Halloween costumes going from house to house trick or treating. It was THE thing to do as a kid. But of course, here we never celebrated it. And if we attempted it, neighbours would probably think we were whacked.

Then again, this generation might be a tad more open-minded with global television and the Internet. And we live in a different neighbourhood now. We know all our neighbours and they know us, and most of them are kind and friendly, especially since we had Jack. I can truly see Jack, in a few years, togged up in some cute Halloween costume inspired from the Costume Chatter Blog carrying an empty pumpkin I probably scooped out for him, with a group of friends trick or treating to the bemused aunties and uncles in our block.

Despite this being a rather safe country, I’d still watch from afar and warn him to stay close, limiting his adventures to our block and on the ground floor only where I can see him. I’d grill him on Halloween safety tips to ensure he doesn’t get in trouble. And his evening of Halloween fun would end right here, at home with Mom giving him and his little friends a ton of nice treats and a Halloween party.

Wouldn’t you say that’s living vicariously through my baby?

2.47pm: Aunty Nancy told of how he squealed in delight and laughter as Grandma bathed him and laughed with him. She commented on how vocal and happy he is and he’s only two months old! I am such a happy and proud Mommy.