Strange Machines

Today we celebrated Father’s Day at Modestos and then went to paint Takashimaya red. Our dear aunt NH called to say she was at the airport with her boys and we sped off to meet them. I told Jack in the car we were going to see his grandaunt and uncles and he was thrilled. It had been 4 months since he saw them and he remembered them very well.

In fact, when they showed up, he walked right up to her, peered at her and said “Gu Puo (grandaunt in Chinese)”. She was so amazed she gave him a big hug. We had dinner at Crystal Jade and he let his young uncles carry and play with him. He even showed off the “car bag” I made for him.

“Car bag,” he proclaimed, and proudly displayed the sling bag hung diagonally around him. “Mama made!” I was so thrilled. It was the first thing he showed everyone at lunch and at the airport today when he met them, right after wishing all the fathers a loud “Happy Father’s Day!”. His Dad and I were so proud of him.

He remembers things very acutely. From the broken car mirror on the silver car at the Forum Toys R Us (now fixed, but he reminds me every time, “not broken”, when we go there) to who bought him what. He remembers all his extended family and even people he met just once and where. It is remarkable. Even the things we don’t review at the end of the day. I would always ask him if he had a great day and what he did today. Still months later he will amaze me by remembering something I barely registered.

At Terminal 3, he weighed himself at an empty check-in counter. He is 12.3kg and 94 cm tall at 25 months, one heck of a runner, bilingual, a competent singer (he sang Twinkle Twinkle Little Star to me this morning, out of nowhere), an avid dreamer (he’ll tell me about his dreams - sweet dreams about everyone hugging), a loving and affectionate child (he’ll hug and kiss and tell his loved ones he loves them in English and Chinese), and that amazing memory.

And in other news, a sweet evening with Boy tonight. Ah I love my boys so much.

I did this with Buffy in one second, yet Boy struggled, howled and swatted. Here’s a useful life hack on How to give your cat a pill in 7 steps, with step by step picture inclusion. Boy needs his pill daily so I might try these few useful ideas.

On a separate note, Kaku (see above pic) found herself on the wrong end of the door. I just went to the bathroom and this little cat came meowing rather anxiously at me. Just like the old days, she rolled around and let me pet her till I led her back to the others out back. It was so sweet though.

Mom’s Beef Stew: an original recipe.

Makes one week’s supply of beef stew for babies and cats. So far the hubby says it is tasty, Jack (the baby) likes only 3 bites, and the cats love it.

Ingredients:
300g premium minced beef
1 handful frozen sweet corn, peas, carrots
1/2 handful pasta (twirly ones in durum wheat)
1 small tomato (cut in 4)
10 leaves of baby spinach

Non-edibles:
Non-stick pot with cover
5 baby glass bottles, sterilised and dried
Bowl for distribution to cats

Cook it:
1. Throw all ingredients into pot.
2. Add water to just cover the ingredients.
3. Turn on fire. Ensure is boiling then turn to low.
4. Leave for 1 hour but return every 15 minutes to make sure it is not burnt. If running low on water, add a small bit more.
5. When cooked, let cool for a while before bottling. Put in freezer.
6. Place remainder in bowl and distribute to cats.

How to use:
When you wish to feed baby, put 1 bottle to thaw in refrigerator 4 hours before. If you forget, microwave on high for 1 minute then use spoon to stir. If still cold, repeat. If baby dislikes food, feed cats. If cats dislike it, you don’t have to make lunch for yourself.

I never thought I’d ever be a devoted mother, yet over 8 months after my son was born, I am sacrificing sleep, shopping, and my yearly book quota to bring him up the best I can. I had never warmed to children, even while pregnant. My friend Karen, mother of 2, cheerily brought me to visit her year-old son when I was 7 months pregnant. I didn’t know what to do with him (according to Karen amusedly, I shied away in horror) but hubby happily played with him, um… more like played with his bike. Now I find myself talking to other moms and cooing at their babies!

Interestingly, the hub never had any doubt. I asked him, how did you know? He said, well, it was the way you cared for our cats. When Boy cried out at night, you leapt out of bed to tend to him. You took all the kids to the vet. You made sure Boy had his meds every day. You had a sixth sense when one of them was sick. You always bought them the best food. That’s why I married you. Hmm…

Thinking back, I remember (with my Mommy brain) bringing Boy to see Dr E waddling 8 months pregnant to check out his bladder, hugging him when he was insecure at night, gaining Kaku’s trust by petting her… yeah, I guess I was a good cat mom. But it didn’t necessarily mean I would be a good human mom. Does it automatically translate that if you are a good cat/dog/other pet mom that you’d be a good human mom?

Jack is down with flu. I should have really known better. His cousin has been coughing for a week now. I should have kept him away. His nose had been runny for a few days, and he’d been sleeping shorter periods at night. More 4.5+4 than the usual 5+5 or 6+4. Sunday he was more subdued and his nose ran even more.

Sunday night he woke several times with a crying burst but when I got up he was fast asleep again. Finally at 6am, I decided to wake him for a feed, feeling particularly dehydrated myself. His nose was full of snot. I cleaned him up and fed him. He fed well, unlike his last feed at 1145pm. He smiled several times, and then slept again. At 10am another cry woke me. He was asleep again but I picked him up for a feed. Once again he ate well, and stayed up to play.

Last night he slept 9 hours! Then again, maybe I was just too tired to wake up for a night feed. He nursed fairly well - I was quite engorged, and after, treated me with happy smiles, coos, and ahhs. Back in his cot for a while, he was talking to himself quite cheerily, then later cries for a suckle and nap in Mom’s arms (more like on the MBF so I can type).

Boy too, is sick. He has a blocked urinary tract which can be fatal if unchecked. I’ve blogged about how it started on Five Cats Blog and what happened at the vet clinic and after.

His appetite has been poor but it could be the new c/d food he’s been put on or his house arrest in my room. He ate quite a bit from my hand yesterday but nothing today. The good news is he is peeing in puddles! With his own poo pan in the bathroom, it’s been easier to track his pee schedule. He’s been quite happy napping by my feet, on the rug, or in his Dad’s sock closet, although once in a while he does get wanderlust and sits by the door looking at me forlornly.

As for he and Jack, it’s almost as if he understands the baby needs me a lot more, physically and emotionally, so he sits or lies close by quietly. He knows Jack’s smell is my smell. Sometimes I let him sniff Jack’s hair or hand, and he does so with an acknowledging nod.

Cat experts have often noted how cats know babies are small humans and give them a ton of leeway they normally wouldn’t accord big humans. I’ve noticed this in all the kids. Buffy particularly, who is perpetually jealous of anyone who takes her Daddy’s attention away, is protective of Jack. Perhaps he smells like her Dad too!

I hope both kids get well soon. It’s always terrible to see your children ill, but it melts my heart to see how brave and upbeat they have both managed to be - Boy, selflessly sacrificing Mom-time for baby’s needs but remaining close to us like a guardian and constant companion (I can imagine the wonderful days and nights ahead when the cat-kids comfort an ill Jack and vice versa), and Jack despite an uncomfortably runny nose and cough, never without a smile for anyone watching over him.

The joys of motherhood are much to behold. I have had such immeasurable joy since I gave birth to Jack that I’d gladly suffer the 28 hour labour and the trying first month all over again. Many have told me that once I have my own (human) child that I would feel differently about my cats and very easily give them up. I scoffed at such comments, although secretly in my heart I feared that I would love them less, and worse, bear to give them up.

Into my third month of (human) motherhood now, I find that that hasn’t been the case. If anything, I love and appreciate my cat-children even more and find so much more delight in them. The difference between loving them and loving Jack is that Jack needs me constantly. I confess I had neglected them quite a bit those early days. I remember Boy’s forlorn looks, Tux meowing at me for attention. Now that things have stabilised, I’ve been able to spend more quality time with them, without neglecting Jack as well. That’s what parenthood is about, isn’t it? Loving all your children, adopted and otherwise, each as much but differently.

And cats, like children, change over the years. What a delight it is to watch them every day. The joy of watching Kaku play with her mouse toy, carrying it around like it is her baby, grooming it, swatting it and grasping it with her paw! Coming home to see Tuxie lounging on the sofa like a possum and staring innocently at us. Boy napping on the couch head, contented now that the rest don’t bug him as much. Sam (Mu Child as we call him more and more these days) finally succeeding in jumping down from the rafters all by himself! Buffy, a gentle protector watching over all of us, her family.

I grasp these moments like a lifeboat, knowing that we have such a short time together. Life is, unforgivingly short. Even more so with our beloved cats. Children are not meant to outlive their parents. With my 5 cat-children, the probability is very high that I will outlive them. It would pain me so much to have to see them die one day. But as the saying goes, it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Isn’t that what life is all about? I raised all 5 from the time they were kittens, adopted them with the promise that I would care for them all my life, and give them every bit of love I have. I will not give them up simply because hearsay dictates pregnancy and cats are incompatible, or that cats and children cannot coexist. I have done my research. I know what is fact and what is fiction.

So if you are reading this because you found this entry while Googling “cats and babies” or “cats and pregnancy”, please do your research, check up on the facts. Don’t give up your pet because some “concerned” person says they will cause allergies, malformations in your child, or any other similar misinformed problem. Stand your ground. Those who believe strongly in this myth will persist. I still hear it from many well-meaning folk. From the lips of those who did give their pets up, it is a terrible thing to live with the guilt that you sentenced your pet to death.

Yes, giving them up to the SPCA, AVA, or risk giving him to someone who may abandon it eventually, is tantamount to a death sentence. If you didn’t know, SPCA simply doesn’t have the space so they have to put down (read: kill) most of the pets turned in to them. Similarly, with AVA. You’ll be very fortunate to find a good adopter. There will always be the possibility that the person may abandon your pet (who may get caught by AVA and put down, or worse, taken by an animal abuser) or give it up to SPCA or AVA.

For those still worried about cats and children, my son is wonderful, normal (no allergies, eczema, asthma), immensely happy, and to his family and friends, the most beautiful child, who lives with his Mommy, Daddy, and 5 cat-siblings.

Last night Jack was fussy from 11pm-midnight. It is almost as if he knows his bedtime is midnight, so don’t try to con me, Mommy. After 2 failed attempts to put him to bed, third time was a charm after feeding extensively on both boobs.

He woke at 5am, fed extensively from both again and fell asleep quickly after a diaper change, burp, and a hug from Mom. I couldn’t sleep. Mind buzzing about work stuff. Finally I fell asleep close to 8 and had a strange but telling dream.

Jack cried to be fed again at 8.30am and he ate and dozed till 9.30am. His Dad put him to bed then and us parents got up to have breakfast. I worked on my site while he studied a little.

Meanwhile, I decided bibs are better than milk towels for better absorption per square centimeter. They smell less bad too. This comes from someone who washes them daily, even soaking them in Dynamo and boiling water the night before. It just makes them smell like boiled milk.

He cried again at 10.30am, suckled a little but preferred to be entertained by an adoring Mom and Dad who sang and danced to him along to Allan Sherman’s comedy ditties. He laughed so much - we were so delighted. I brought him to his gym (he burped spontaneously en route) and he played a bit before getting fussy. His Dad carried him and he dozed almost immediately.

Kaku came to visit me in the loo! I petted her happily and told her I missed her. How was she, I asked. She meowed in return. Her tail section looked like it’d grown back some. Sam took his turn too and then scurried off. Back at my computer, Boy is dozing contentedly on his new fave spot - the coloured mat that I use to cover the wires. I am so happy things are getting back to normal.

Jack just fed and is napping on my lap now. We best get dressed soon for lunch.

Last night Jack slept from 1230-530am (5 hours) and 620-950am (3.5 hours)! The night before, he slept from 1230-530am, woke again at 830am and again at 1115am. I think his sleep cycle may be stabilising. Oddly enough, he’s been napping in the day too (like right now, with Boy napping just beside him) and yesterday evening from 630-930pm.

This morning, he fed, got a diaper change, and I played him his favourite Mozart CD and he began cooing. After I fed the kids, put in the laundry, and made breakfast, I sat and talked to him. He was so delighted, smiling and cooing. He even laughed ‘Hahaha’ at one point!

Finally at 11am, when I put him down in his stroller to go hang out the laundry, I was so surprised not to hear any crying at all. I returned to find him napping! Boy came to nap beside him too on his gym mat. Tux just walked past, looked at the pair rather amusedly and walked to the kitchen.

Finally having put Jack down on his stroller for a nap, I found Boy napping on my work chair. I pondered if it would be a good time to trim his claws. So I sat beside him and began trimming and also petting his head. Shocked that he actually allowed me to finish one paw, I got greedy. Usually he only allows two, three trims at most.

I carried him and began on the other claw, amid soothing words and ear scratches. The poor boy had mangled his ears again but the tummy bites were now healing. He had two claws that had a lot of overgrown and I wanted to redo those, but that was the limit of his patience. He leapt off but followed me to the kitchen. I soothed him and petted him and then returned to the computer.

Interestingly enough, while I was away, one of the other cats (no prizes for guessing who) had marked his couch head. He had been avoiding it since I returned and a quick sniff confirmed my suspicions. Last Friday I got it washed with white vinegar (to kill off any markings). Lo and behold, today I saw him leap up to his couch head toward his favourite spot, but alas, the cushion was still drying… I’ll try to get it fixed tonight when his Dad comes home.

After reading quite a bit online today about multicat family conflicts, I have learnt much.

This evening, all were well-behaved till close to supper time. Tux sat on the couch head in the living room with me and had a nap. Buffy on the floor although she ran in and out of the room. Boy remained on his chair next to the shoe cabinet and took a nap. Sam walked in and out without disturbing him at all.

At one point, he leapt up to lie with Tux but Tux wasn’t in the mood. He left Sam there and went to lie on the floor. Could that be the problem? Rejection from the object of his affection? Shortly after, the movie ended and I turned off the TV and started packing up. All the cats came into the living room then and I called to Kaku while Boy jumped off his chair and wandered near the door.

Sam didn’t hesitate to rub himself against the chair legs and understandably, Boy leapt up again onto the chair. Sam immediately swatted his legs and Boy jumped down. Boy moved into the doorway next to Tux and I walked through to go to the bathroom.

When I returned, Boy leapt to the ledge under my computer table where he likes to rest, probably feeling safer even a few inches off the ground (vertical territory). Sam paused and stared at him briefly as he walked past and then walked away.

Clearly Sam tried to claim Boy’s territory and then remove him from it. It is also possible that rejection from Tux (yes there was something in one of the cat psychology books I read last night about gay cats, although they never engage in sexual activity) caused him to vent his frustration on Boy (or Buffy, which he is doing right now).

Both are possible as I noticed that Tux, especially recently, is usually the one who ends their physical contact, leaving Sam high and dry.

Solutions I discovered online and pieced together:

* I should keep a close eye on their interactions from now on. With new insight, I understand better what is going on.

* I should give Boy more attention, but preferably away from the jealous eyes from Tux, Buffy, and Sam.

* I should give Sam more attention to distract him from his spurned or short-lived and unsatisfactory advances towards Tux.

* I should use a towel and rub Tux, rub Sam, and then rub Boy to mix all their scents up.

* I should bathe all the cats (at least the boys) to mix their scents up.

* Should none of the above work, separate Boy from the rest for a while to give him some peace and quiet.

After a spate of chasing Buffy, he just went up to Boy, sniffed Boy’s nose and then ran off. It is evident it isn’t a perpetual conflict. Just only when he is most likely feeling unloved and unimportant.

Reviewing the evening, Boy makes me smile. While I watched telly and he sat on the chair, he looked at me most lovingly, blinked, and I blinked back. Who says cats are incapable of love has surely never lived with a cat.