Till one month ago, I would say I had some help caring for Jack. Time off to work was still time off after all. But since April, I became a full-time stay-home mom and the wheels of change turned. Things would never be the same again.
For one, it was wonderful not to worry about deadlines and meeting the budget anymore. The loveliest thing was to be able to give all my time and attention completely to Jack. It shows in his delight when I read to him and play with him.
On the downside, personal time has become somewhat of a myth. Sure, I get an hour or so when he naps (once or twice a day) and that time is usually used to complete chores, spend some time with the cats, or greedily devouring a novel while carrying Jack in a sling.
Breakfast takes an hour, lunch another hour, of feeding and entertaining him on his highchair. The rest is cooking, washing dishes, cleaning up, all rather alien tasks to me. Our routine at home rarely varies and I think we both take comfort in that. They are serene and relaxing.
But at night after putting Jack to bed, I am wasted. Only now, after a month of change I am getting into the swing of things. Most recently I started reading again - a pleasurable activity especially coupled with blue cheese and milk. Now I am getting online again, after hours of course.
Day time I have promised to my son. And what a ball we have had. Shopping cart racing, tree spotting at the park, bath time fun, holding his hand as we walk together, when he sleeps, playing with the cats, and lots of laughter together.
It is all worth it.
Mephala is a strange and rather interesting human fascinated by 
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