Since Kitten was born, Bear went from waking once or twice a night to seeral times a night. He even wakes more often than Kitten. It is 2.33am now and he’s been up 3x since he slept at 11pm.
Undoubtedly it is insecurity due to his sister’s arrival. He almost always needs me to comfort him and will fight for milk in the middle of he night. Although, at bedtime he’ll let her drink first.
Daytime I try to spend more time with him but still sometimes he will ask me, Mom do you love me? It is so heartbreaking to hear. I always reassure him but sometimes it is not enough.
He dotes on her though. Tells everyone that she is his baby. Is largely gentle with her. I let him hug and kiss her, hold my breath and trust him to do well by her and he never disappoints me.
I trust him alone with her when I go and get something. He knows to watch and take care of her. He tells me, this is our family. He knows we belong together. This is when I know doing everything together benefits their bond.
It is so important for us to nurture their relationship. Too often, others will shoo the older one away from the younger one or say don’t touch or disturb her, but really we need to exercise some trust in our children or they may never learn to be trustworthy.
Mephala is a strange and rather interesting 
August 18th, 2009 at 12:22 am
I think when kids are sleepy (as when Bear wakes in the middle of the night) they are less accommodating. Hence his willingness to let Jade nurse first before bed but fighting for milk in the middle of the night. Notice the same with Gavin – he gets more unreasonable when tired.
It’s hard to trust a young child with a baby, especially when the baby seems so fragile, but you’re right, trust must be given in order for them to learn how to handle the younger child. Although Gavin has always been gentle so I haven’t felt the need to worry as much when he handles babies, I have also seen brash young boys handle babies with a gentleness that you wouldn’t have thought them capable of.
August 18th, 2009 at 2:30 am
Yes, that is true. He feels more insecure at night. I think all of us do. I feel more vulnerable when I wake too. Must be some infantile reflex. Be prepared for lots of nightwakings and battle for the boob.
To allay your fears just watch them when they think you’re not. They will surprise you.