Strange Machines

Not quite. We’d have to get out of Earth first. In a billion years, our Earth would no longer be habitable.

Our best option, according to Ray Villard, news director for the Hubble Space Telescope, is for us to

… come up with a strategy to build artificial mini-planets – essentially flying city-states — that would modify their orbits to migrate along with the petulant Sun’s expanding and shrinking habitable zone. As the white dwarf cools, the wagon train of space habitats would move inward. Raw materials would be harvested from in-falling comets and asteroids. Explorers would be free to travel outward to visit surviving planets and moons. Given our passion for survival, bolstered by super-technology, the future for mankind could truly stretch on indefinitely, beyond even the life of the Sun.

That’s hope for you.

(Source: Living in a Dying Solar System)

After a ton of research when we were considering another child, we put in place a few rules to prepare him:

1. Wolf must feel and know that Kitten belongs to us. We are a family.

2. We must make him feel she is worthy of all our love and that she takes away none of our love from him.

3. Sharing is emphasized. Sharing is what a family does.

4. Having a sister must be a positive and happy thing to him.

5. Family time is important. We must spend time together (before bedtime, for us) every day. All 4 of us.

6.To remember that it is our job as parents to ensure 1-5 happens and parry all negative sentiments from others.

So with that in mind, here is what we did:

1. Before Kitten was conceived, we asked Wolf if he wanted a sibling. He said yes.

2. When I was pregnant, we told him we were making the baby for him, and more importantly, that she belonged to him and us, and is also part of this family.

3. When I was tired, I told him making a baby in my tummy was hard work and gave him lots of hugs, kisses, and attention and cuddles while I lay down to rest. We did resty things like reading and playing cars on the bed.

4. I nursed, as painful as it became with my nipples becoming extra sore. I distracted myself with my iPod Touch as I could no longer fall asleep nursing him because of the pain and discomfort.

5. We took care to associate her arrival with wonderful and positive experiences. Like receiving special presents from each parent, and one special one (he has always wanted) from Kitten given when he first meets her. And he got to choose a present for her. It worked beautifully.

6. I tandem nursed as often as I could (too tired to argue anyway). Day time anyway. Night time was tougher as he was nursed to sleep. Someone had to either carry her till he slept or entertain him while she nursed and then dozed off, on her own (of this I am grateful).

7. We do things together. I keep them both close – none of this someone takes him away from me while I am looking after her. Whether changing diapers or nursing or playing. Both kids sit on my lap during story time.

8. I don’t refuse him as much as I can if he wants to nurse. He wants to know I still love him so I show him in that way that I do. Lately he has been asking me if I love him and I take it as a sign that he needs my attention. I always stop what I am doing and look him in the eye and say tenderly, of course I love you… so much.

9. I take time to spend individually with each child. Daddy takes him out to the playground so I have one-on-time with Kitten (even though when he is engrossed in his games I sneak a conversation with her). When she is asleep in our Ergo (which I use all the time with her), I play and read to him.

10. It is tiring and I am often exhausted and screaming for me-time. Accept all the help you can get to rest. But don’t allow anyone to undermine your relationship with your kids. When they say well-meaning things that do hurt him, I reassure him and correct them gently.

Take your time and enjoy each day. Your greatest gift to your children are to help them build a strong and loving bond between them so that years on even after you are gone, they will always still have each other.

Another alarming article about the dreadful effects of cigarette smoke on children. Point of the article is, don’t smoke at home and don’t go anywhere where there is third-hand cigarette smoke sitting on furniture or carpeting (or any surface for that matter) if you don’t want your children’s health affected.

A New Cigarette Hazard: ‘Third-Hand Smoke’

By RONI CARYN RABIN
Published: January 2, 2009

Parents who smoke often open a window or turn on a fan to clear the air for their children, but experts now have identified a related threat to children’s health that isn’t as easy to get rid of: third-hand smoke.

That’s the term being used to describe the invisible yet toxic brew of gases and particles clinging to smokers’ hair and clothing, not to mention cushions and carpeting, that lingers long after second-hand smoke has cleared from a room. The residue includes heavy metals, carcinogens and even radioactive materials that young children can get on their hands and ingest, especially if they’re crawling or playing on the floor.

Doctors from MassGeneral Hospital for Children in Boston coined the term “third-hand smoke” to describe these chemicals in a new study that focused on the risks they pose to infants and children. The study was published in this month’s issue of the journal Pediatrics.

“Everyone knows that second-hand smoke is bad, but they don’t know about this,” said Dr. Jonathan P. Winickoff, the lead author of the study and an assistant professor of pediatrics at Harvard Medical School.

“When their kids are out of the house, they might smoke. Or they smoke in the car. Or they strap the kid in the car seat in the back and crack the window and smoke, and they think it’s okay because the second-hand smoke isn’t getting to their kids,” Dr. Winickoff continued. “We needed a term to describe these tobacco toxins that aren’t visible.”

Third-hand smoke is what one smells when a smoker gets in an elevator after going outside for a cigarette, he said, or in a hotel room where people were smoking. “Your nose isn’t lying,” he said. “The stuff is so toxic that your brain is telling you: ’Get away.’”

The study reported on attitudes toward smoking in 1,500 households across the United States. It found that the vast majority of both smokers and nonsmokers were aware that second-hand smoke is harmful to children. Some 95 percent of nonsmokers and 84 percent of smokers agreed with the statement that “inhaling smoke from a parent’s cigarette can harm the health of infants and children.”

But far fewer of those surveyed were aware of the risks of third-hand smoke. Since the term is so new, the researchers asked people if they agreed with the statement that “breathing air in a room today where people smoked yesterday can harm the health of infants and children.” Only 65 percent of nonsmokers and 43 percent of smokers agreed with that statement, which researchers interpreted as acknowledgement of the risks of third-hand smoke.

The belief that second-hand smoke harms children’s health was not independently associated with strict smoking bans in homes and cars, the researchers found. On the other hand, the belief that third-hand smoke was harmful greatly increased the likelihood the respondent also would enforce a strict smoking ban at home, Dr. Winickoff said.

“That tells us we’re onto an important new health message here,” he said. “What we heard in focus group after focus group was, ‘I turn on the fan and the smoke disappears.’ It made us realize how many people think about second-hand smoke — they’re telling us they know it’s bad but they’ve figured out a way to do it.”

The data was collected in a national random-digit-dial telephone survey done between September and November 2005. The sample was weighted by race and gender, based on census information.

Dr. Philip Landrigan, a pediatrician who heads the Children’s Environmental Health Center at Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York, said the phrase third-hand smoke is a brand-new term that has implications for behavior.

“The central message here is that simply closing the kitchen door to take a smoke is not protecting the kids from the effects of that smoke,” he said. “There are carcinogens in this third-hand smoke, and they are a cancer risk for anybody of any age who comes into contact with them.”

Among the substances in third-hand smoke are hydrogen cyanide, used in chemical weapons; butane, which is used in lighter fluid; toluene, found in paint thinners; arsenic; lead; carbon monoxide; and even polonium-210, the highly radioactive carcinogen that was used to murder former Russian spy Alexander V. Litvinenko in 2006. Eleven of the compounds are highly carcinogenic.

(Source: NYT)

I was really sad to read that stress during pregnancy can affect one’s baby, as evidenced here, here, here, here, and here.

I’ve been through an immense amount (to my reckoning) of unneeded stress through the tail end of my first trimester till today with virtually no support from anyone. Hence I worry about my baby girl’s brain development. Trying to stay positive has been an uphill battle.

Advice from the first article: people needed to develop greater sensitivity to pregnant women’s needs.

Yet most people are insensitive to pregnant women’s needs, simply judging from a poll taken among friends. Worse if you’re having your second. I’ve been accused of being a bad mother, lazy, negligent, emotional, overreactive… the list goes on.

It doesn’t feel like there’s any solution.

Ridiculous notions I’ve heard this past month about pregnancy and child rearing:

1. Breastfeeding past the age of 1 will cause an Oedipus complex.

Wow, there must be many mothers and sons having sex now because the sons were breastfed past 1! Seriously, all documented cases I’ve read of incest involves relatives who DID NOT grow up and/or live together from birth.

2. Drinking cold water will make the baby cold.

Right and drinking hot soup will burn the child.

3. Exposing a pregnancy belly is disgraceful for a mother.

But a fashion consultant told me it is chic to do so!

4. 2 year old children need to be toilet trained whether or not they are ready for it.

Tons of research show they are not physiologically ready till 3 and the best way to toilet train is for them to be ready.

5. Children must be fat to be healthy (and hence are overfed).

We already have enough problems with obesity so I wish purporters of this notion will just read some research articles and get a clue. Just because a child is genetically slim and active doesn’t mean he doesn’t eat. He grazes, just like Dr Sears recommends. Smart kid. He’ll never be fat.

6. Children need to be dressed to look as old as they can be.

Children are only small once. Why force them to look old prematurely?

7. Mothers are not entitled to personal time.

This one probably irks me the most. People decline to help or worse, criticise very disparagingly when a poor mother stays up for a few hours after baby sleeps for some personal time, and looks rather tired the next day (we look tired every day!) because they think stay home moms should be on call 24/7 but even maids get a day off sometime! And they get to sleep through the night.

That’s all I can recall for now. You can tell I’ve been hearing these a lot. Feel free to add, and to point and laugh.

I’m a real laid back Mom. As a teen, danger was my middle name. I have the proud scars and trophies to show for it. And a fond memory of a black Kawasaki trail bike I spray painted myself, whom I named Tommy Ray after a character in Clive Barker’s grand novel The Great and Secret Show.

As a kid, I loved to play in the mud, climb trees, windows, the gate, just about everything and I never fell. I loved the outdoors and I loved risky adventures. We had a small garden filled with lots of plants and trees where a little girl could bring her stuffed animal friends and play make believe. It was a wonderful, happy, stress-free childhood.

I intend for Wolf to have the same.

So it is to no surprise that I not only encourage my son to climb, jump, play in mud, I also teach him safety rules. For instance, when he climbs, he must concentrate on what he’s doing, and he must hold on with both hands. If he needs help, he must ask. And I’ll only let him climb places which I deem safe, which is almost anywhere.

These days I am lazy and loathe the sun, but I will slather on sunblock and be prepared to swelter just so my boy can enjoy the park nearby and visit the lovely jungle trails at our zoo. And oh he loves it. He’ll swing like a monkey on the handrails while we wait for the tram and race through the path like a speeding bullet. He’s the most active child I know.

Research agrees risky fun play is critical for survival skills like making judgement calls and assessing danger, especially in this modern world:

According to the study, kids need the adventure of “risky” play: “Risk-taking increases the resilience of children,” said one researcher. “It helps them make judgments,” said another. They list examples of risky play that should be encouraged including fire-building, den-making, watersports, paintballing, boxing and climbing trees.

Arnon Lotem, a researcher at Tel Aviv University, found that modern people have adopted risk-taking behaviors similar to those of animals like rats and bees. And this behavior, Prof. Lotem says might not prepare humankind for the types modern dangers we face every day — like crossing the street, accepting a high-risk mortgage, driving on the freeway, or flying a plane.

(Sources: New Study: Kids Need the Adventure of “Risky” Play; Humans Evolved to Fear Snakes, Not High-Risk Mortgages or Risks at Traffic Lights)

In a few days, my sweet son will be 2. Looking back, he’s achieved so much.

Today he mastered 3-puzzle jigsaws. At the last United Square toy fair, I bought him a wooden box full of lovely animal jigsaws. Only today did he bring it out to play and in a blink, he mastered them all.

His vocabulary is increasing exponentially. Today he learnt the phrase “hold the bar” (while coming down stairs). He can easily say complete sentences by himself, but even with new phrases, I don’t need to say 2-3 words at a time. He can copy half sentences after hearing them once.

It has been frequently commented that he is thin. Let’s just say it is genetic and from my side of the family. With double dominant thin genes from his maternal grandparents, it is a slam dunk. He grows proportionally. Today his Dryper XL seems to be getting tighter so I know he is growing. Just a few months ago he was wearing L!

He is 90th percentile for his age group in terms of height at 88-90cm. At 12kg he is 50th percentile for his weight.

He eats all day and I feed him healthy organic fruit and vegetables. He loves blueberries and can say hello to the nice Aunty Nancy at Why Yogurt over in Great World City there, tell her his favourite 3 berries, and remind me that the blue and pink cups that used to be displayed in the glass case are gone.

He loves playing with his cars, puzzles, reading his books, and most sweetly, is most fond of the stuffed cotton rabbit and cat I made him. He hugs them and tells everyone, “Mama made”.

At the toy store, he is happy to just browse and not buy, a habit formed from early days of “looking trips” and the very rare “buying trip”. He is happy with the toys he has at home. Even for his birthday, he just wants another of his favourite car. I was so proud.

He is loving and affectionate, showing kisses and hugs to his grandma, grandpa, mom, and dad. He is very sociable, and readily waves hello and goodbye to people we meet, lending a smile to those he favours.

He greets me every morning with a grin, saying “Good Morning!” and then “Wake up, Mama!” What a fabulous way to wake up.

It has been a happy, sleepy, and wonderful 2 years with this joyful, sweet, delightful little boy. I am glad I stuck by the tenets of attachment parenting, pretty much the only parenting method supported by science and 30 years of peer-reviewed research.

The breastfeeding, co-sleeping (no cry-it-out), babywearing (no pram; sling or carrier only), and focus on positivity (no “you can’t do that”) and encouragement has been a breeze compared to others who complained about what a hassle it is to go out with so much to carry, disobedient kids. It is instant calm when Wolf is nursing and his close bond to me has allowed him the security to be one of the most independent kids I know.

Attachment parenting builds a strong bond between mother and child, and equips a child with confidence, love, security, and a helluva lot of smarts.

First of all, no TV. All the studies agree it is harmful. It is common sense that a child spending one hour playing with his toys or running around in the park is learning more than a child passively watching TV, yes, even the “educational” programs. We, as humans, learn best by example, in the real world.

We choose our battles. By allowing him to win the small battles, such as choosing the clothes he’d like to wear, and what toys to play, he allows us to win the big ones, such as when it is time to go (we rarely have a problem with that, after giving him 5 minutes grace then he waves bye bye) and when it is bedtime.

Today he can readily say he is ready to sleep. With the former, he has grown confident of his choices and truly, he has great taste in clothes.

His artwork is all over our home, the prized ones hung in the bedroom. He loves drawing and we regard each piece as a work of art. Just in 3 months, his work has evolved so much. And he is very proud of it.

We negotiate now. I believe it is an important skill he needs in life. He wants to go out to the park. I say okay, after your meal. He thinks about it then looks at me and says ok. And we eat, then we go out. I keep all my promises to him and so does his dad.

Integrity is something so important and yet so overlooked. I was truly blessed to have a father who keeps his word to me every single time since the day I was born. If he says he will bring the newspaper, yes even something as trivial as that, he will. And he has never forgotten. That is how I learnt integrity.

And so I plan to teach it to Wolf. For him to become the man I want him to be, I must become the person I want him to be.

An oldie but a goodie.

Here are the 7 Signs by Robert L. Park, professor of physics at University of Maryland at College Park and the director of public information for the American Physical Society.

1. The discoverer pitches the claim directly to the media.

2. The discoverer says that a powerful establishment is trying to suppress his or her work.

3. The scientific effect involved is always at the very limit of detection.

4. Evidence for a discovery is anecdotal.

5. The discoverer says a belief is credible because it has endured for centuries.

6. The discoverer has worked in isolation.

7. The discoverer must propose new laws of nature to explain an observation.

(Source: Confessions of a Quackbuster)

Most recently I finished reading Gregory Benford’s The Sunborn, a hard SF novel about life on Pluto (and other wildcards).

He introduced a new form of life which never occurred to me before and I felt so enthralled about the abundance and diversity of life itself (read Deep-Sea Alien Abode Discovered for starters).

Even though we haven’t found anything alive outside our planet yet doesn’t mean they don’t exist. Now this translates into probabilities rather than concrete proof in the form of Drake Equation. But Benford’s novel does raise an interesting issue – that perhaps other forms of life may be in a form that we are unable to detect with our instruments after all.

My own theory, is that we’re so far in the corner of the Universe, so far from the excitement of the centre that no one has detected us nor us them. The Universe is a huge place, but the laws of physics does limit travel (even as planet-sized beings) through its vastness.

Still, when I think about the magnitude and grandeur of this place we live in, I am grateful to exist even for this microsecond to breathe it in and know that I am a part of it.

Today Wolf discovered that he could stick his head between the bars on Grandma’s bed and see the other side. He was so tickled he kept giggling and repeating it.

Last night we stayed over at my Mom’s because I had an early interview with Nobel Laureate Dr Richard Roberts. Not used to the new bedtime place, Wolf woke after an hour and a half and refused to sleep again till midnight.

He associates the room with play time so it was hard getting him back to bed while he was rolling around, trying to stand, and looking here and there.

He finally woke up for good at 7am when my Mom found him standing above my head clutching the rails gleefully while I held his legs semi-comatose.

The whole thing wouldn’t have been so bad if I wasn’t sick with a bad cold (which may actually turn out to be the flu).

Tonight he was out like a night in our own bed.