Strange Machines

I’m a real laid back Mom. As a teen, danger was my middle name. I have the proud scars and trophies to show for it. And a fond memory of a black Kawasaki trail bike I spray painted myself, whom I named Tommy Ray after a character in Clive Barker’s grand novel The Great and Secret Show.

As a kid, I loved to play in the mud, climb trees, windows, the gate, just about everything and I never fell. I loved the outdoors and I loved risky adventures. We had a small garden filled with lots of plants and trees where a little girl could bring her stuffed animal friends and play make believe. It was a wonderful, happy, stress-free childhood.

I intend for Jack to have the same.

So it is to no surprise that I not only encourage my son to climb, jump, play in mud, I also teach him safety rules. For instance, when he climbs, he must concentrate on what he’s doing, and he must hold on with both hands. If he needs help, he must ask. And I’ll only let him climb places which I deem safe, which is almost anywhere.

These days I am lazy and loathe the sun, but I will slather on sunblock and be prepared to swelter just so my boy can enjoy the park nearby and visit the lovely jungle trails at our zoo. And oh he loves it. He’ll swing like a monkey on the handrails while we wait for the tram and race through the path like a speeding bullet. He’s the most active child I know.

Research agrees risky fun play is critical for survival skills like making judgement calls and assessing danger, especially in this modern world:

According to the study, kids need the adventure of “risky” play: “Risk-taking increases the resilience of children,” said one researcher. “It helps them make judgments,” said another. They list examples of risky play that should be encouraged including fire-building, den-making, watersports, paintballing, boxing and climbing trees.

Arnon Lotem, a researcher at Tel Aviv University, found that modern people have adopted risk-taking behaviors similar to those of animals like rats and bees. And this behavior, Prof. Lotem says might not prepare humankind for the types modern dangers we face every day — like crossing the street, accepting a high-risk mortgage, driving on the freeway, or flying a plane.

(Sources: New Study: Kids Need the Adventure of “Risky” Play; Humans Evolved to Fear Snakes, Not High-Risk Mortgages or Risks at Traffic Lights)

In a few days, my sweet son will be 2. Looking back, he’s achieved so much.

Today he mastered 3-puzzle jigsaws. At the last United Square toy fair, I bought him a wooden box full of lovely animal jigsaws. Only today did he bring it out to play and in a blink, he mastered them all.

His vocabulary is increasing exponentially. Today he learnt the phrase “hold the bar” (while coming down stairs). He can easily say complete sentences by himself, but even with new phrases, I don’t need to say 2-3 words at a time. He can copy half sentences after hearing them once.

It has been frequently commented that he is thin. Let’s just say it is genetic and from my side of the family. With double dominant thin genes from his maternal grandparents, it is a slam dunk. He grows proportionally. Today his Dryper XL seems to be getting tighter so I know he is growing. Just a few months ago he was wearing L!

He is 90th percentile for his age group in terms of height at 88-90cm. At 12kg he is 50th percentile for his weight.

He eats all day and I feed him healthy organic fruit and vegetables. He loves blueberries and can say hello to the nice Aunty Nancy at Why Yogurt over in Great World City there, tell her his favourite 3 berries, and remind me that the blue and pink cups that used to be displayed in the glass case are gone.

He loves playing with his cars, puzzles, reading his books, and most sweetly, is most fond of the stuffed cotton rabbit and cat I made him. He hugs them and tells everyone, “Mama made”.

At the toy store, he is happy to just browse and not buy, a habit formed from early days of “looking trips” and the very rare “buying trip”. He is happy with the toys he has at home. Even for his birthday, he just wants another of his favourite car. I was so proud.

He is loving and affectionate, showing kisses and hugs to his grandma, grandpa, mom, and dad. He is very sociable, and readily waves hello and goodbye to people we meet, lending a smile to those he favours.

He greets me every morning with a grin, saying “Good Morning!” and then “Wake up, Mama!” What a fabulous way to wake up.

It has been a happy, sleepy, and wonderful 2 years with this joyful, sweet, delightful little boy. I am glad I stuck by the tenets of attachment parenting, pretty much the only parenting method supported by science and 30 years of peer-reviewed research.

The breastfeeding, co-sleeping (no cry-it-out), babywearing (no pram; sling or carrier only), and focus on positivity (no “you can’t do that”) and encouragement has been a breeze compared to others who complained about what a hassle it is to go out with so much to carry, disobedient kids. It is instant calm when Jack is nursing and his close bond to me has allowed him the security to be one of the most independent kids I know.

Attachment parenting builds a strong bond between mother and child, and equips a child with confidence, love, security, and a helluva lot of smarts.

First of all, no TV. All the studies agree it is harmful. It is common sense that a child spending one hour playing with his toys or running around in the park is learning more than a child passively watching TV, yes, even the “educational” programs. We, as humans, learn best by example, in the real world.

We choose our battles. By allowing him to win the small battles, such as choosing the clothes he’d like to wear, and what toys to play, he allows us to win the big ones, such as when it is time to go (we rarely have a problem with that, after giving him 5 minutes grace then he waves bye bye) and when it is bedtime.

Today he can readily say he is ready to sleep. With the former, he has grown confident of his choices and truly, he has great taste in clothes.

His artwork is all over our home, the prized ones hung in the bedroom. He loves drawing and we regard each piece as a work of art. Just in 3 months, his work has evolved so much. And he is very proud of it.

We negotiate now. I believe it is an important skill he needs in life. He wants to go out to the park. I say okay, after your meal. He thinks about it then looks at me and says ok. And we eat, then we go out. I keep all my promises to him and so does his dad.

Integrity is something so important and yet so overlooked. I was truly blessed to have a father who keeps his word to me every single time since the day I was born. If he says he will bring the newspaper, yes even something as trivial as that, he will. And he has never forgotten. That is how I learnt integrity.

And so I plan to teach it to Jack. For him to become the man I want him to be, I must become the person I want him to be.

An oldie but a goodie.

Here are the 7 Signs by Robert L. Park, professor of physics at University of Maryland at College Park and the director of public information for the American Physical Society.

1. The discoverer pitches the claim directly to the media.

2. The discoverer says that a powerful establishment is trying to suppress his or her work.

3. The scientific effect involved is always at the very limit of detection.

4. Evidence for a discovery is anecdotal.

5. The discoverer says a belief is credible because it has endured for centuries.

6. The discoverer has worked in isolation.

7. The discoverer must propose new laws of nature to explain an observation.

(Source: Confessions of a Quackbuster)

Most recently I finished reading Gregory Benford’s The Sunborn, a hard SF novel about life on Pluto (and other wildcards).

He introduced a new form of life which never occurred to me before and I felt so enthralled about the abundance and diversity of life itself (read Deep-Sea Alien Abode Discovered for starters).

Even though we haven’t found anything alive outside our planet yet doesn’t mean they don’t exist. Now this translates into probabilities rather than concrete proof in the form of Drake Equation. But Benford’s novel does raise an interesting issue - that perhaps other forms of life may be in a form that we are unable to detect with our instruments after all.

My own theory, is that we’re so far in the corner of the Universe, so far from the excitement of the centre that no one has detected us nor us them. The Universe is a huge place, but the laws of physics does limit travel (even as planet-sized beings) through its vastness.

Still, when I think about the magnitude and grandeur of this place we live in, I am grateful to exist even for this microsecond to breathe it in and know that I am a part of it.

Today Jack discovered that he could stick his head between the bars on Grandma’s bed and see the other side. He was so tickled he kept giggling and repeating it.

Last night we stayed over at my Mom’s because I had an early interview with Nobel Laureate Dr Richard Roberts. Not used to the new bedtime place, Jack woke after an hour and a half and refused to sleep again till midnight.

He associates the room with play time so it was hard getting him back to bed while he was rolling around, trying to stand, and looking here and there.

He finally woke up for good at 7am when my Mom found him standing above my head clutching the rails gleefully while I held his legs semi-comatose.

The whole thing wouldn’t have been so bad if I wasn’t sick with a bad cold (which may actually turn out to be the flu).

Tonight he was out like a night in our own bed.

More evidence surfaces to reinforce the fact that:

1. We mirror the people we are with.
2. Angry and negative people sap the happiness out of you.

I’ve read about toxic relationships years ago and make it a point to avoid them.

So what are toxic relationships? Basically they are one-sided, negative relationships where there is little or no reciprocity, and which serve to make you feel bad about yourself or the things you care about. And they bring you down.

This doesn’t mean we’re not there for friends who are sad or having a bad time. That’s the basis of friendship. But when they resolutely want you to be unhappy by their words and actions, that is the time to cut all ties, albeit gradually and gently.

I have made it a resolution to be happy and positive and be a joy to the people around me (and if I fail, do let me know). Everything is about perspective. I choose to see things in a positive light. Note that even the title of this post focuses on the positive.

Life is too short to dwell on unhappiness. Find a solution and work through it if you are. How happy you are is really up to you. Remember, you can’t please everyone. Sit up, smell the roses, and hug your pet, baby, or parent today.

(Source: Angry/negative people can be bad for your brain)

An increased risk of bad eyesight, obesity, premature puberty, and autism. Isn’t that reason enough to drag your child kicking and screaming away from the TV right now?

(Source: PhysOrg.com - Television poses risk to childrens’ health: study)

Because I usually work late at night, sometimes I hear Jack crying for me from the next room. Now the interesting thing is, out of every 5 times, at least twice it is just my imagination. I definitely have baby on the brain…

If you’re feeling down or sad for apparently no reason, look around and see if the negativity is coming from somewhere nearby. Is it a well-meaning relative commenting on the neatness of your home, or your neighbour wondering about your ability to parent? All these gentle put-downs can be detrimental to your confidence as a mother and set you on the road to depression.

When this happens, identify the toxic comments and acknowledge them for what they are: someone’s opinion. You cannot change the words people choose to spew from their mouths but you can choose not to be physically close enough to hear them, or if it is not possible, choose to mark that person’s word as invalid (mind exercise: imagine everytime that person talks, place a mental stamp across his or her forehead).

You are your child’s best mother and you should not allow anyone to spoil that relationship. It is easy to believe someone else when you’re unsure, tired, and simply exhausted from parenting, whether or not you are working. If you allow that person to destroy your confidence as a mother, only you and your child will suffer for it. Not the commentor.

So give yourself a pat on the shoulder for being a great Mom. Trust your Mommy instincts. Yes, your Mommy radar is tuned. You know what your baby needs and you are confident to provide him with what he needs: love, food, warmth, comfort, and play. Your baby agrees too. Just look at his face light up when he sees you.

Unfortunately for us humans (and cats too, sorry) we’re unable to regenerate any of our parts with our stem cells like our invertebrate relative, the sea squirt. Not yet at least but scientists are working on it.

… regeneration (for the sea squirt) began from dozens of tiny compartments loaded with stem cells, which the researchers dubbed regeneration niches. “In mammals, many adult organs and tissues contain specific stem cells that are involved in repair and some restricted regeneration abilities,” biologist Ram Reshef at Technion Israel Institute of Technology in Haifa said.

Regenerating our bits would mean a longer life as we turn in our old parts for new ones. It’s one of the touted killer apps for longevity and anti-aging advocates. Right now, all we have is calorie restriction and it’s often a tough one to follow (think: pineapple tarts).

While the stem cells the researchers looked at are much like stem cells in adult mammals that give rise to our tissues and organs, “the huge difference is that they culminate in an entire organism,” Reshef said. The most important implication of their finding is the possibility that vertebrate adult tissue stem cells may exhibit the same capabilities to generate any cell in the body, he added.

Reshef and his colleagues are currently teasing apart the molecular mechanisms by which the sea squirt accomplishes its whole body regeneration and to compare that process with similar mechanisms in other invertebrates and vertebrates. “We speculate that vertebrates altered or suppressed parts or all of this ability,” Reshef said.

Hope for us, no?

(Source: LiveScience - Sea Squirt Regrows Entire Body from One Blood Vessel)