Strange Machines

Curiously Wolf loves to tip his head back when he is being carried in the Ergo. Today he exposed his two growing front teeth! One has emerged fully width-wise, the other has a tiny edge peeking out. It was so cute I tried taking a photo but he was moving so much I missed.

We spent the evening in town and walked over to Taka for a change. I strapped him on my back with his Dad’s help and sped us down the pathway much to Wolf’s sheer delight. He shrieked with laughter all the way.

These days he naps easier when outside. Of course it helps if the place is quiet. I rock him gently from side to side and he dozes off. Even outside he can nap for an hour if there are no interruptions, which is great.

We went to Best to check out some laptops and put some to the “touch test”. There was an ASUS laptop that cost $1400, gorgeous black and tiny, 12″ screen and very light at 1.6kg, and with a 0% interest payment… but there were only display sets for sale so I had to politely decline.

All in all, it was a wonderful evening and we all have a great time out as a family.

This evening we had dinner with Joyce at Vivocity and tried out Superdog. I have to say two thumbs up. The bacon burger was scrumptious and ice lemon tea light and tasty. Wolf was quite enthralled by their curved seats.

After that we went to Giant to buy my 1GB Kingston Mini-SD card which was on sale for $24.95! I mustered a lot of strength not to get another one. It was a happy moment to pick up the card.

We visited Joyce’s parents after. They were very keen to meet Wolf and spent the whole evening playing with him. Following a quick warm up, he got on the floor and began crawling everywhere. They were very amused.

We left at 10pm and gave him a quick bath. It’s been tough getting him to bed these days as all he wants to do is play. I’ve had to turn out all the lights. But he is sleeping better now. He slept 3 hours the first stretch!

1. Buy a cloth sling and practice carrying baby in it all day. It is ideal at this age because he loves to be close to Mom and sleep most of the time and it is easy to nurse in it. You can easily surf, use the loo, and go about your day. It is natural for babies to want to be carried at the time plus he gains a strong sense of self-worth being unconditionally loved by Mom all the time.

2. When he is awake and in the sling, sit him a little more upright and point out things to him as you go about your day. When you’re brushing your teeth, make funny faces to him in the mirror, when you’re pouring milk, explain how Mom drinks milk too. He’ll love being part of your day.

3. Spend some of the day with him in his crib or on your bed or on the floor. Talk to him, sing to him, animate some stuffed toys and do a little play for him, read to him. He just wants to see your face and loving glances at this point.

4. If you want to put him down for a nap, try nursing him on the side (with a small towel under you to sop up the spillage) and then once he is asleep, you can steal away. Just make sure he is safe wherever he is.

5. Remember to feed and hydrate yourself too. Make breakfast, lunch, and dinner with lots of snacks in between. Keep healthy snack food (bananas, apples, carrots, e.g.) and a bottle of water near you as you might be too exhausted to move some days.

6. Keep reading material and your phone (important for impromptu brilliant Kodak moments and surfing or checking Gmail) near you in case you suddenly need to nurse and can’t get up to get stuff.

7. If there’s someone else in the house to help you, ensure they have a mobile phone too so you can keep your phone on silent and send text messages when you need help and baby is asleep.

8. Create a routine for yourself and follow it everyday. It will help you manage your day better for now.

9. Rest as much as you can. It’s impossible to nap with baby every time but just lying down helps. Get some me-time as well. Let Daddy play with baby for as much time as he can spare for important Dad-bonding (children who have involved fathers are more self-confident and possess better self-worth as adults).

10. Believe in yourself. The most critical thing for this period is to build your confidence as a mother and bond with your child. Everything else should take a backseat. Enjoy every moment with baby for you’ll never get back this precious time when they are so tiny.

Wolf slept poorly again last night. He woke up every 20 minutes and at one point, took an hour to settle down to sleep again. He kept howling on his hands and kneews, and couldn’t go back to sleep. It sounds like it might be teething. He seems to find his upper lip itchy. I was so exhausted by 4am but finally managed to sleep.

It has been alleged that most 9 month olds sleep through the night, but there are so many more factors to consider when compiling that data. What are they eating? Are the babies still breastfed? Do they co-sleep with their parents? Are they cared for by their mother or another caregiver during the day? All these factors can cause a child to wake repeatedly at night.

Is it a bad? I’ve never felt more comforted by having Wolf sleep beside me – it’s easy to nurse him and we both sleep better. But when he was in his crib, I’d walk over and check if he was still breathing several times a night – my mother did that too when I was a kid. With him next to me, I can just put my hand gently on him and know he is okay.

For me, I’ve given up on when he is going to sleep through the night. I take it a day at a time and take my mother’s advice: just enjoy your baby.

Sleeping Through The Night:

Sleeping Through The Night by Kelly Bonyata, BS, IBCLC
Sleeping through the Night by Katherine A. Dettwyler, Ph.D.
Slumber’s Unexplored Landscape by Bruce Bower

Co-sleeping:

Bedtime Story: Co-sleeping Research by James J. McKenna, Ph.D.
Ten Reasons to Sleep Next to Your Child at Night by Jan Hunt, B.A. Psychology (Magna cum Laude), M.Sc. Counseling Psychology
Need vs. Habit by Tine Thevenin
Statement on sleeping locations and sudden death in infants by Abraham B. Bergman, MD, Director of Pediatrics, Harborview Medical Center and Professor of Pediatrics, University of Washington, Richard Harruff, MD, PhD, Medical Examiner of King County, Clinical Associate Professor of Pathology, University of Washington, MaryAnn O’Hara, MD, Robert Wood Johnson, Clinical Scholar, University of Washington

There are a lot of concerns about co-sleeping. And they are valid ones. Baby suffocating under blankets or under a parent are terrible things and they have happened before.

For a breastfeeding mother, I was adamant Wolf slept in his crib. But that meant nursing him sitting up for an hour at bedtime while he lay on the MyBrestFriend cushion while I either zoned out, napped with my mouth open, read a magazine or book, played games or surfed on my mobile phone (usually the first two). And then lifting him up gently (wake alert!), removing the cushion, getting up (wake alert!) and going to the crib (wake alert!), and breaking my back to put him down (wake alert!) very gently, removing my arm which would be under his neck (wake alert!), and then removing my other hand which would be on his chest.

That process I mastered and perfected over the first 4 months and gleefully congratulated myself when Wolf slept through the night from 4, 5, 6, 7 hours and once even 9 hours! Alas, his 4th month sleep regression unwound everything and I was back to square one.

Sure, we tried some co-sleeping when he was born. Him in a tiny sleeper beside me. But now, he was a big boy and the doctor said okay. Since, it’s been reassuring and I love waking up next to him and seeing his sweet sleeping face beside me when I turn in.

I’ve been having insomnia lately and to avoid waking him, go outside the bedroom to read or surf. He wakes up almost every 20 minutes to 2 hours and it’s been fairly disrupting to my attempts to achieve flow.

Last night I crashed to bed early and we both slept almost through the night, waking only once when his Dad woke up for work. I think co-sleeping babies do know when their mothers leave the bed and if they’re sleeping alone. We both slept well till he woke up and started climbing all over me.

If you do wish to co-sleep, please read up very carefully on co-sleeping and safety.

This is a great landmark for Wolf.

Previously at night he’d be calling for me when he woke. Even if his Dad was there, he might well be nothing more than a log beside him, patting and trying to soothe him.

But last night he recognised the sleeping form of his Dad, now immune to his crying. His Dad had found him wide awake, sitting, and patting his back laughing and shrieking in delight. I’d been in the other room online. He had to call me twice before I heard him.

I went in to nurse him and he fell right back asleep. I’m so proud of him. It’s a first step towards independence. All the attachment we have been sharing has paid off.

He’s now happily playing with his Dad, crawling everywhere, the cats wandering here and there around him. He always watches them rapt, intrigued. It’s a lovely Saturday for all of us here.

Wolf was a total angel last night and today. I think it could be that peaceful period from 41-46 weeks according to The Wonder Weeks. He happily played with his Bunny Twins (actually a plush neck rest) in his car seat all the way home without any fuss.

Last night he slept straight through from his 3am wake-up to around 8am I think. I feel so rested today. All morning he was cheery and playful all morning and managed to enjoy his car ride out today for most of the way (he was hungry).

He’s been saying “Baba” a few times today and “Ma” once to my delight! I think he might be done with the motor skills development for a while and is practicing talking. His mouth has been moving like a motor.

Sure I’ve read about it before but only over Chinese New Year did I realise its relevance and importance.

Most sleep experts say that a baby who naps more during the day sleeps better at night. It may seem contradictory but it had been shown repeatedly to be true. We managed a mini-sample over the weekend.

On the first day of CNY, we woke 2 hours early to visit my parents. The whole day got a bit messed up with us neglecting to take the 2 hour difference while scheduling his nap times. He woke several times that night, particularly in the first 2 hours when he woke every 20 minutes.

On the second day of CNY we took Wolf to Uncle Hon Chung’s house where he slept 20 minutes in the car… late as well… at 2pm. He usually sleeps between 1-1.30pm. We left Hon Chung’s house at 5.30pm (late for his 5pm nap). He got grumpy, fell asleep in the car. I held him for about 40 minutes before he woke up. That night he woke several times over the first 5 hours, about every 20 minutes.

I was beat. On the third day, and this is sounding like that Christmas song, I got him to nap at 1.30pm. He slept for 20 minutes but was happily chasing Sparky the dog after. Next, he napped from 7-8pm. Odd yeah, but that night he slept better and woke only the first time after 2 hours.

It’s easy to forget a baby’s naptime till he shows signs of fussiness. It is possible that by then, it is too late.

There’s so much misinformation out there about parenting from harmful advice such as cry-it-out (CIO), not “spoiling” your baby, or sleep training your baby (see more studies on sleep) to simply annoying groundless superstitions and anecdotes. So it was with a breath of fresh air that KellyMom, a great evidence-based parenting resource, was found. It is a true gem in the wastelands of the web.

As with every other science, we can never be absolutely sure. But with peer-review studies turning up the same conclusions, we can surmise that it is reasonably accurate. I have checked the findings against other books by parenting writers like Sears, Biddulph, and others, as well as research published in science and health journals and news releases, and each affirmation buoys my decision to practice attachment parenting (AP).

Here are the things I practice as a parent:

1. I breastfeed my baby on demand.
2. I wear my baby with a sling or baby carrier.
3. Baby sleeps with us in our bed.
4. When my baby cries, I pick him up.
5. I always show my baby love and respect.
6. When he looks at me or seeks me, I give him attention so he gains a sense of self-worth.
7. I don’t sleep train or potty train my baby.
8. My baby is with me wherever I go, meeting new people and new scenarios.
9. I continue learning about parenting.
10. I smile to my baby first thing in the morning.
11. I say no and redirect or distract.
12. I never punish my baby for being a baby.
13. I ensure his trust in me is never breached.
14. I always remind my baby how much I love him.

Resources:

8 Infant Sleep Facts Every Parent Should Know by Dr William Sears
What is Attachment Parenting by Diana West, IBCLC
The Science of Attachment: The Biological Roots of Love by Lauren Lindsey Porter
Children Need Touching and Attention, Harvard Researchers Say by Alvin Powell
Early Brain Development: What parents and caregivers need to know by Phyllis Porter, M.A.
The Emotional Infant Brain by Lynn M. Johnson
Mistaken Approaches to Night Waking by Paul M. Fleiss, M.D., M.P.H., F.A.A.P., 2000
Responsive Parenting by Kelley Shirazi
Science Says: Excessive Crying Could Be Harmful to Babies by Dr William Sears
Stress in Infancy by Linda Folden Palmer, D.C.

Night weaning Wolf – an article by Elizabeth

Hope for a sleepy me.

Yet I am happy to wake up to feed Wolf, even if it is to look at his sweet face when he finally dozes off.

Just now he stirred and fussed a little, turned and turned again and then fell back to sleep.

For sleepy Moms out there, read the articles at KellyMom. They’re great, evidence-based, positive, and comforting.

His Dad is so excited about him crawling way so early (about a month early). He moves faster than Boy on a slow day. :p

Wolf turns 8 months very soon!