Strange Machines

Jack has been called clever baby twice in the last few days already and I can’t help but be the proud Mommy, despite coughing up green goo and having half my eyelids dragging the floor.

The first was during his Granduncle’s dinner when finally exhausted, I let him down to crawl around the floor. The waitresses were very entralled by him and one even gave me a demonstration.

“You see,” she said excitedly. “He picks up the wad of thread on the ground and gives it to me. He doesn’t eat it like other babies do.”

The other incident was his godsister Joyce’s dad who happily said how smart he is and how he thought he is a one year-old already.

I have no experience with other babies, being sadly uninvolved with my nieces and nephews’ day-to-day growth, hence I am unable to compare if he really is so. But to hear it from other people, is sheer heaven.

The price on the value of stay-home moms has been much deliberated in the news lately.

As one myself or soon to be as I wave goodbye to my career to stay home and care for Jack, I can only say it’s ridiculous to monetise this vocation or add labels to women who choose to do so. If you must do so, why not place a higher value too on grandparents who do the same, or the young maids who do so without training for someone not of their kin.

All stay-home moms want is the recognition of how much we have given up to raise our children and that we should not be penalised for being selfish (or compared with NS men - hello, mandatory!), be considered without economic value, or any of the sillyisms we have heard recently for the simple act of placing our children before our careers because we think our children are worth it.

From my research, all the evidence for a happy, confident, successful, and well-adjusted adult points to a babyhood and childhood where Mom (or at the very least, an invested caregiver) has been (omni)present, interested in him and what he does, cherishes him, holds him often, and loves him unconditionally. As parents, we all do what we believe is best for our children. This is what I believe is best for him.

And this is what I want for Jack. Not necessarily to have the best scores in school, to be a super athlete, or even to become a professional and make tons of money, but to be confident in who he is and in the choices he makes in life, and to know that no matter what bad things happen out in the world, his family loves him unconditionally for simply being him.

Last night Jack and I slept early and if you’ll excuse the pun, he slept like a baby compared to the previous nights when he woke up weeping from the pain of his tooth erupting.

I remember him waking up once and trying to settle again to bed. Another time, this time documented as 455am, he woke up, sat up, and pooed (made the ugh sound with a serious look on his face). I changed his diaper as he cooed contentedly and we both settled back to sleep.

My Mom commented how cheery he was today. She even let him run around naked twice and ride his cousin’s bicycle in his birthday suit. He was so amused and chuckled when I shrieked in delight.

He has pretty much mastered the stairs, speeding up like a bullet whenever he can. We each take turns following him very closely and he has never even faltered.

Since I can remember, he has always been very attached to my brother. Maybe it is the family smell or the fact my brother always makes funny faces at him, but yesterday my brother took him to play upstairs with his daughter in the playroom and Jack was so thrilled he refused to let go of his uncle’s leg when it was time to go home. Today he was happy to pat his uncle’s leg with affection.

I’m glad his painful teething time is over for now and look forward to another day with my sweet happy baby.

The past few nights have been really difficult. Poor Jack’s been crying terribly from the pain in the gums from his left tooth emerging. While awake he’ll be pretty cheery and even bite his blankie to ease the pain, but at night it finds no solace and cries often for comfort.

Although tired, I mean, really frankly, very exhausted, I soothed him, reminding myself he’s in pain and I can help ease his agony by nursing. The teething gel helped as well and now I carry it everywhere. Until that tooth emerges fully, I reckon nights will be tough.

This morning he was delightful, crawling all over me and patting my face to wake me up. I got up to a happy baby who hugged and cooed at me. For a moment, he stopped, a serious look on his face and made a few urgh sounds, which means he is pooing. When it was over, he was all smiles again.

1. Buy a cloth sling and practice carrying baby in it all day. It is ideal at this age because he loves to be close to Mom and sleep most of the time and it is easy to nurse in it. You can easily surf, use the loo, and go about your day. It is natural for babies to want to be carried at the time plus he gains a strong sense of self-worth being unconditionally loved by Mom all the time.

2. When he is awake and in the sling, sit him a little more upright and point out things to him as you go about your day. When you’re brushing your teeth, make funny faces to him in the mirror, when you’re pouring milk, explain how Mom drinks milk too. He’ll love being part of your day.

3. Spend some of the day with him in his crib or on your bed or on the floor. Talk to him, sing to him, animate some stuffed toys and do a little play for him, read to him. He just wants to see your face and loving glances at this point.

4. If you want to put him down for a nap, try nursing him on the side (with a small towel under you to sop up the spillage) and then once he is asleep, you can steal away. Just make sure he is safe wherever he is.

5. Remember to feed and hydrate yourself too. Make breakfast, lunch, and dinner with lots of snacks in between. Keep healthy snack food (bananas, apples, carrots, e.g.) and a bottle of water near you as you might be too exhausted to move some days.

6. Keep reading material and your phone (important for impromptu brilliant Kodak moments and surfing or checking Gmail) near you in case you suddenly need to nurse and can’t get up to get stuff.

7. If there’s someone else in the house to help you, ensure they have a mobile phone too so you can keep your phone on silent and send text messages when you need help and baby is asleep.

8. Create a routine for yourself and follow it everyday. It will help you manage your day better for now.

9. Rest as much as you can. It’s impossible to nap with baby every time but just lying down helps. Get some me-time as well. Let Daddy play with baby for as much time as he can spare for important Dad-bonding (children who have involved fathers are more self-confident and possess better self-worth as adults).

10. Believe in yourself. The most critical thing for this period is to build your confidence as a mother and bond with your child. Everything else should take a backseat. Enjoy every moment with baby for you’ll never get back this precious time when they are so tiny.

This is a great landmark for Jack.

Previously at night he’d be calling for me when he woke. Even if his Dad was there, he might well be nothing more than a log beside him, patting and trying to soothe him.

But last night he recognised the sleeping form of his Dad, now immune to his crying. His Dad had found him wide awake, sitting, and patting his back laughing and shrieking in delight. I’d been in the other room online. He had to call me twice before I heard him.

I went in to nurse him and he fell right back asleep. I’m so proud of him. It’s a first step towards independence. All the attachment we have been sharing has paid off.

He’s now happily playing with his Dad, crawling everywhere, the cats wandering here and there around him. He always watches them rapt, intrigued. It’s a lovely Saturday for all of us here.

Jack was a total angel last night and today. I think it could be that peaceful period from 41-46 weeks according to The Wonder Weeks. He happily played with his Bunny Twins (actually a plush neck rest) in his car seat all the way home without any fuss.

Last night he slept straight through from his 3am wake-up to around 8am I think. I feel so rested today. All morning he was cheery and playful all morning and managed to enjoy his car ride out today for most of the way (he was hungry).

He’s been saying “Baba” a few times today and “Ma” once to my delight! I think he might be done with the motor skills development for a while and is practicing talking. His mouth has been moving like a motor.

He’s been laughing Hahaha and chuckling at Grandma and Grandpa the past week.

Ah Boo and Boo Boo have been his words of choice too.

Yesterday Jack had a deep discussion with his Dad, who pointed out to me how he was sticking out his tongue more and trying to form words. We even heard him say “Jack” at one point!

True enough, at 5am, we were both awakened by Jack talking to himself in a long sort of discourse. He seemed to be trying out sounds like ‘ll’ and alternately sucking his own fist. We let him go on till his sounds began turning slightly anguished and then we picked him up for a feed.

This morning he continued with his sticking-out-tongue routine and talked to himself some more.

I played his favourite TaTu CD and he was delighted to do a dance-along.

Lately Jack has been most preoccupied with his left hand. He spends hours on end staring at it and putting it in his mouth. It’s been a source of comfort, sucking his fist. He’s soothed himself back to sleep some 7am mornings when I’d been too tired to get up.

My Mom bought some side padded thingys for his cot now that he’s too big for his sleeper. They’re of the Cat and the Fiddle (she thought I’d like it). He was so intrigued when I first placed him inside with the new sides. He stared and stared at them, cooing and shrieking in delight. At the same time, I installed his Humpty mobile and he lay there entertaining himself for over an hour.

He’s so keen to learn these days. His eyes widen when I bring out the flash cards and he smiles when he sees his favourite animals. He still loves staring at the lights and happily lies in his cot watching the Humptys turn round and round (he likes the red ones best because he’s had two bigger ones in his cot), or looking at the cat and the fiddle, the cow and the moon, and the plate and the spoon.

Last night he laughed and laughed when his aunt B carried him and talked to him. He loves to be carried and talked to. My Dad talks to him everyday for a half hour. Everyone agrees he’s going to be a talker when he grows up.