Strange Machines

I haven’t been posting much because I’ve been falling asleep a lot while nursing both kids to sleep. They both latch on and nurse till they sleep. Jade usually unlatches first and rolls over to her crib and then Jack rolls over to his side and sleeps too.

But when the nightwaking party begins, all bets are off. Sometimes one wakes and calls for me, waking the other if I don’t hear the escalating calls, and I’m back to tandem nursing them both back to bed. Maybe that is more efficient, because often after nursing one back to bed, the other wakes.

Still, I am grateful I have my iPhone and usually play some inane game or read some news offline to pass the time. I could look lovingly at them as I nurse them to sleep but it is too dark. Sometimes I do shine a bit of light on their sweet sleeping faces and think aww…

Most recently, Jack and Jade have started waking up at night at the same time. Although they still take turns to wake multiple times – Jade twice to thrice and Jack anything from 3-6 times – it is usually only once a night when they wake in tandem.

But last night, twice, I ran into the bedroom to find both kids sitting up in bed beside the other, looking rather dazed. So I hugged them both and nursed them back to sleep.

Talk about a conspiracy but how cute it is to see the two of them sitting together in the dark.

When I first opened the box and lifted the carrier out I swore I smelt walnut. It was a wonderful earthy smell and I immediately thought of walking through a dense forest with the crackling of dried twigs underfoot. Indeed this carrier was 100% organic.

I always wash anything I buy before using it and the Boba smelt clean and freshly laundered after a gentle Seventh Generation wash. It felt lighter than the Ergo and soft like the Ergo Organic.

After I let it air dry (and it dried overnight in our air conditioned room), I had a good look at it. I am very nitpicky about make and spend hours inspecting the seams of any cloth product I want to buy, much to the chagrin of the salesperson. In this case, the make was great, very well sewn. The seamstress did a wonderful job. My world was complete again. Yes, I am OCD like that.

There was no learning curve at all for me, being a seasoned Ergo user. Just snap the Boba around my waist, pop baby in, lift shoulder straps over my shoulders, clip, pull straps to tighten and we were off.

It felt exactly like the Ergo with perhaps even better support on the hips but I found myself missing the pouch strap (to hold my Ergo pouch), being a mom on the go, and the sleeping hood.

Jade at 6 months, being a larger baby, met the Boba on her nose, but even the elevated height was unable to support her drooping head while she dozed.

Now, the Boba was designed for children from 1-4 years old but while toddlers nap when back-carried, a sleeping hood would be really helpful as support. I would have loved a sleeping hood for the Boba, both for Jack and Jade.

At home I use the Boba with Jade and when she dozes I need one hand to support her head. The one time I carried Jack on my back and he fell asleep, he flopped all over but thankfully did not fall out of the lower backed Ergo Classic. Last week, his Daddy carried him on his back in the Boba and he fell asleep, flopping around rather dangerously in Ikea despite the higher back compared to the Ergo Classic. We both agreed that a sleeping hood, or some means to secure a sleeping toddler is pretty important.

Meanwhile, I was rather disappointed that we couldn’t quite figure out the foot straps for Jack. Perhaps he is just too tall for them – he is 3 and a half and over a metre tall – and the angle was just wrong.

But Jade had no problem putting her foot through as you can see in the picture. She swung her feet and in they went, into the foot strap. She won’t be needing them for a while but I’m glad they’re there if she does.

Jack told me that he didn’t need the straps as the Boba offered sufficient leg support compared to the Ergo Classic and he was quite pleased he didn’t have to insert his legs through the loops of the Patapum, which got us in a tangle whenever we had to remove him from the carrier.

The beauty of back carrying with the Boba is simply have your toddler either stand on a chair or leap onto your back and hang on to you, lift up the shoulder straps, clip and go, then to remove, unbuckle and slide the toddler down your back. It truly is the best back carrier for any toddler. And the parent who uses it. Let’s not forget the other user.

The Boba has become my favourite back carrier for Jack (when he isn’t nodding off) and spare front carrier for Jade at home. It has a much higher back than the Ergo and gives Jack’s back better support. It is safe for Jade because of the 100% organic cotton and organic batting – she loves to snap her gums on the shoulder straps like a snapping turtle and gnaws on.

Many products with padding, for example quilts, contain permanent pressed cotton batting, which has an unremovable layer of formaldehyde on it for fireproofing, and pesticides from the crop (which will come off after a few washes).

Naturally I was concerned about my current Ergos and emailed Lulu at Mummysmilk – since Ergo’s website does not provide an email and their form did not work – and she promptly replied that Ergo says that their cotton batting is not permanent pressed. I have washed them enough times to remove any pesticides so I am relieved there, although I wish they have email addresses on their website and use organic batting in their carriers.

But I digress.

With a completely organic product, there are no chemicals or finishings on it, so you don’t have to worry about pesticides or formaldehyde at all. And that is the Boba.

A few other nice things about the carrier:

It is completely made in the USA. It is the lowest price baby carrier I’ve found that does the job. And it does it well. US$99 + shipping. You readers get another 10% off with the coupon code: mephala. Good from 15 Nov – 14 Dec 2009.

I would highly recommend the Boba to anyone whose baby does not like to use a sleeping hood or who has an older child. I survived carrying Jack in the Ergo Classic for 2 years without using their very unfriendly hood and just one hand to support his head in a front carry.

For me, the fact that it is 100% organic trumps everything else, but having used my Ergo Organic for so long (and through so many washes) and having to manage 2 children, I use my Ergo Organic for Jade and the Boba as a back carrier for Jack.

I often carry both children at the same time. There is no arm numbness nor back or shoulder pain, although one must be mindful about tightening the straps between the shoulders and chest. I’ve comfortably carried the kids together for an hour, maximum 2, with both the Ergo Organic + Boba, and the Ergo Organic + Ergo Classic.

But the choice is clear. Jack has told me that the Boba is much more comfortable than the Ergo Classic and the Patapum and has told me to inform you that it has his vote.

Visit NAP Inc to buy the awesome organic Boba baby carrier. You get another 10% off with the coupon code: mephala from 15 Nov – 14 Dec 2009. Go check it out today!

For the terminally sleep deprived, here is a cheat sheet:

Pros:
* Very easy to use and user friendly – low learning curve
* 100% organic (cotton and batting)
* Made in the USA
* Very well-made
* Very light and quick-drying
* Affordable for all at US$99 + 10% off with mephala coupon + shipping
* Beautiful earthy colours
* Suitable for larger babies and all-sized toddlers

Cons:
* No sleeping hood
* No pouch strap
* Can’t roll up and wear on waist

Love-to-haves for Boba 2.0:
* Black carrier (Okay, this is really just for me.)
* Pouch strap
* Sleeping hood that snaps on and off easy (roll up to snap close and wear on waist)
* A matching Boba pouch

It is that developmental time again when babies start learning to crawl, even when they wake up at night, a little perplexed why they are on all fours, and that’s when they call for Mom.

In Jade’s case it started about a month ago, I’d find her looking rather confused, on all fours, so cute in her baby night dress, just wavering. I’d take her in my arms and nurse her back to sleep.

Tonight, she even cried when she felt me move an inch away. But soon she was asleep again, till the next 4 legged wake up call, till morning when she discovers cute animals on her bumper walls and looks upon them in intrigue and amazement.

Photo credit: Vital Images

V of Vital Images kindly snapped some shots of us in our Walnut Boba Baby Carrier the other day when we were having brunch (yes, even Barney thinks it is cool now).

Psst… watch out for my review of the 100% organic Boba Baby Carrier in a couple of weeks. There will be a very special coupon code for you awesome readers to order your very own Boba. If you can’t wait, go check it out first at NAP.

This phenomenon is apparently not new, but it certainly is funny to watch! Jade has started crawling but backwards and gets mighty ornery when she gets backed into a corner.

Meanwhile she and her brother are getting along great! Every morning she chuckles when Jack goes to say good morning to her and he watches her while I go get washed up and water the plants, wash the diapers, etc. The great thing about having 2 is that they rarely miss Mom when she has to pop away for a short while. I can often hear them laughing about something funny Jack is doing to amuse his sister.

Today she couldn’t stop laughing at him balancing on the top of the couch while her Daddy carried her. I’m glad she has a wonderful sense of humour, except when she gets backed into a corner. :p

The kids and I had gastric flu last week (or was it the week before) and fart jokes were abound. With hourly wakings and tummy trouble all around, it was a wonder anyone got any rest.

All I can say about this sleepless fugue of motherhood is your body gets used to it.

Soon you too will be scoffing at your partner for needing to nap after a 5 hour stretch of uninterrupted sleep.

After all, you’re bright and cheery after 4 hours interrupted sleep with 2 kids in tow (albeit with slurred speech, a glazed expression, and a short-term memory shorter than a gnat’s, and that’s after a big shot of caffeine).

Note: tummies are better but still have an intense dislike for fried oily food and will rebel with aforementioned response if afflicted with.

Speaking of sleep, today Jack woke 2 hours early and fell asleep nursing while standing up as I was carrying Jade in the Boba carrier!

Today we did an experiment. For the same distance I carried Jade in the front in her Ergo Organic and Jack at the back (yup, 2 kids!) with first, the Ergo, then the Patapum.

Comfort for Mom:

“The Ergo. Ergo on Ergo feels comfy. Weight is distributed mainly on the waist and very little on the shoulders. It was a comfy half hour walk.

The Patapum seemed to carry more weight on the shoulder and back which made it very uncomfortable for me by the end of the journey. The thick padded shoulder straps made my arms a little numb when not adjusted properly.

It also kept sliding up my waist, probably because of the stiff waist band and synthetic inner which makes it smoother. The Ergo tends to stay in place but bunches up with a bit more give.

On that note, I’d like to add that carrying 2 tends to generate quite a bit of sweat and it felt cooler with the cotton inner of the Ergo than the synthetic inner of Patapum.”

Comfort for Toddler:

“I prefer the Patapum because I like to put my legs through the hoops. More support. I like the Patapum for my back because it was very light (cooler).”

Asking Jack, he said foot straps would help him sit a little more comfortably. As it is, his legs are dangling rather uncomfortably. He said later that he liked the Patapum’s additional leg support better than the Ergo. There, the ultimate consumer has spoken.

Ideally there should be a carrier that is comfortable for both Mom and Toddler, that’s why I’m keen to try the Boba which has loops for the toddler’s foot to rest in. Till then we’ll use the Patapum for very short journeys and the Ergo for longer walks but I’ll give his legs a boost by holding them on the side.

Summary:

Ergo – cooler for Mom’s waist, comfy for Mom’s back and shoulders.
Patapum – cooler for Toddler’s back, comfy for his legs because of support.

At a babywearing store opening last week, I got the chance to try on the Manduca baby carrier.

It felt great, very soft and made of 100% organic cotton. It wore and fitted and felt exactly like the Ergo, except for 3 differences and reasons why I would not buy it:

1. Design – Each of their bold designs have a cream coloured stripe (see pic) which I find rather unattractive. I felt that they should have kept the colour scheme a matching two-tone like the Ergo or a single tone like the Patapum. The cream may match some colours but not others like the black. They do however have limited edition designs which are quite pretty but cost more.

2. Usability – The release of the shoulder strap is different from the Ergo’s. I found this out when I had to nurse Jade in a hurry and when I tried to remove it the Ergo way, it didn’t work. It wasn’t a one-hand slide action. Pearline had to come to my rescue. Not immediately intuitive, not for Ergo users anyway.

3. Make – The plastic strip holding the buckle runs down the shoulder strap exactly where baby would suck. Note the picture of the woman carrying her baby on their landing page to see what I mean. Jade immediately clamped her gummy mouth down on the strap and I had to remove it a few times. The point of buying something organic is to protect your baby, so having baby suck on plastic kind of defeats the purpose of buying organic.

Still. All in all, a nice addition to the organic baby carrier family. If they change 3. But at the moment, I’d only consider it for an older child who won’t suck on the shoulder straps.

What I am considering is the new Boba baby carrier by the same people who brought you the Sleepy Wrap. At US$99, the Boba costs the same as a Patapum but it is organic and appears to wear like an Ergo and fit like a Patapum except without the complex leg loops to navigate baby’s legs through (see Ergo vs Patapum). Instead they have these awesome foot loops which baby can rest his or her feet in.

My concern as usual is the make. I’ll email them about their Patapum-like waist band and stuffing in the shoulder straps and see what they say.

Above is a picture of me on a sans makeup day with my Posh Beckham sunglasses babywearing 2 kids: Jack in the Patapum on the back and Jade in the Manduca.

It seems everyone wants me to send Jack to school, from my parents to the old lady I meet serving tea at the coffee shop. “It is essential for socialisation,” they insist.

The research says otherwise.

Playdates and preschool attendance can add stimulation—-and fun—-to your child’s daily life. But socialization-—the process of learning how to get along with others-—is not the same thing as socializing. Frequent socializing with peers does not necessarily lead to better social skills.

In fact, the opposite seems to be true. Too much time with peers can make kids behave badly. It’s the sulky elephant in the room that no one likes to talk about. Even upscale preschools are likely to make kids behave worse. As recent scientific studies confirm, preschool attendance increases childhood stress and retards social development.

(Source: Preschool Social Skills)

To many parents and teachers, these findings seem to defy common sense. Surely we learn social skills by interacting with other people. What could be more natural than letting your preschooler loose in a social world of her own peers?

In fact, part of this reasoning is sound. You do need people to learn people skills. The question is–which people? Preschoolers need to learn empathy, compassion, patience, emotional self-control, social etiquette, patience, and an upbeat, constructive attitude for dealing with social problems.

These lessons can’t be learned through peer contact alone. Preschools are populated with impulsive, socially incompetent little people who are prone to sudden fits of rage or despair. These little guys have difficulty controlling their emotions, and they are ignorant of the social niceties. They have poor insight into the minds and emotions of others (Gopnik et al 1999).

Yes, preschoolers can offer each other important social experiences. But their developmental status makes them unreliable social tutors. A child who copies other children may pick up good habits—-but she may also pick up bad ones. And peers do not always provide each other with right kind of feedback.

When a child offers to share his toy with a caring adult, he gets rewarded with gratitude and praise. He also learns that he will eventually get his toy back. When he offers to share with a peer, he may not get rewarded at all. Without adult guidance, these experiences can undermine social development by teaching the wrong lessons.

Moreover, it’s hard to see what’s natural about herding together a bunch of children who are all the same age. From the evolutionary, historical, and cross-cultural perspectives, it’s an unusual practice.

(Source: The darkside of preschool)

As parents, we are the best candidates to instill in our children the necessary building blocks in socialisation: empathy, emotional self-control, and communication. Offering our children a secure attachment and ourselves as good role models, and being involved and engaged in our children’s emotional world would arm them with better social skills than any preschool would.