Strange Machines

In principle, the naturalbluecloud wool shortie was supposed to be the solution to all the leaking problems but really, I had ordered a size too big after the other wool covers appeared to have shrunk a little from washing.

I’d ordered L but my skinny boy was swimming in the waist, although the legs were sort of fine. They gently enveloped his leg rather than clasped it with a vise-like grip.

So after 2 days of leaks, first from the waist – my solution: tuck the wool into his waist – then from the legs (where he firmly insisted it leaked although I felt nothing, but there was drippage down from the leg side when I felt about) – I had used the XL Loveybums instead of the L that night.

Tonight, we tried on Twig & Vine’s exquisitely soft bamboo fleece diaper (definitely the best I’ve ever used on the kids) in L, in between the fleece a brandless hemp insert from Whoopeekiddies, on top of that, a L Loveybums organic cloth diaper with another hemp insert, an XL Loveybums wool cover over and a naturalbluecloud wool shortie over that.

hemp insert in bamboo diaper -> hemp insert over cotton diaper -> wool cover -> wool shortie

Overload! At 3am Bear woke and told me he’d leaked. Same leak, just down the inside of his pant leg, and thankfully nothing on the bed. I checked the multiple layers and only the first layer of hemp had been mildly soaked and a bit of the side of the Loveybums diaper. It was only one pee.

So I realised my mistake. I should have concentrated on TIGHT, not THICK. I took out the wet hemp insert, removed the dry one too. Used a fresh bamboo insert inside the Twig & Vine bamboo diaper, closed that. Took out a fresh L Loveybums diaper. Put that over the bamboo diaper, wool cover + wool shortie. Thinner, but definitely tighter.

Looks like this from baby’s bottom:

bamboo diaper with bamboo insert -> cotton cover -> wool cover -> wool shortie

The wool is supposed to absorb the extra fluid so I should really let it do its job than overstuffing the diapers which causes a huge gap between skin and diaper, and that is exactly where it leaks.

Let’s see how it goes in the morning.

I guess cloth diapering, especially with new diapers, takes some trial and error in getting the right diapering configuration. And during the trial, remember to get your baby to sleep on a rubber mat or there’ll be lots of laundry to do.

And just like that, Bear toilet trained himself.

I think it was mid-week last week when he started telling me, “Mama I need to pee,” and managed to hold his pee, with his cheering contingent (aka me, dad, and Kitten), made it to the loo, said he was ready, and peed to our exuberant joy.

Previously, he would tell me but he wouldn’t make it on time. This is because children can’t actually hold their pee (to make that trip to the bathroom) till they are 3+. But he never gave up and one day it just happened!

And it continued…

“Mama I need to pee,” he’d exclaim and we’d hustle ourselves to the bathroom excitedly and watch him pee, close the lid, flush, and wash hands with soap.

And now at home, he doesn’t need a diaper anymore. I am so proud of him! He did it all by himself.

A fascinating piece, peer-researched on how we love and discipline and how it affects our children. What most parents do actually is conditional parenting, whether or not we realise it:

Conditional parenting isn’t limited to old-school authoritarians. Some people who wouldn’t dream of spanking choose instead to discipline their young children by forcibly isolating them, a tactic we prefer to call “time out.” Conversely, “positive reinforcement” teaches children that they are loved, and lovable, only when they do whatever we decide is a “good job.”

This raises the intriguing possibility that the problem with praise isn’t that it is done the wrong way — or handed out too easily, as social conservatives insist. Rather, it might be just another method of control, analogous to punishment. The primary message of all types of conditional parenting is that children must earn a parent’s love. A steady diet of that, Rogers warned, and children might eventually need a therapist to provide the unconditional acceptance they didn’t get when it counted.

What can we do then? The take away from the article is:

In practice, according to an impressive collection of data by Dr. Deci and others, unconditional acceptance by parents as well as teachers should be accompanied by “autonomy support”: explaining reasons for requests, maximizing opportunities for the child to participate in making decisions, being encouraging without manipulating, and actively imagining how things look from the child’s point of view.

The last of these features is important with respect to unconditional parenting itself. Most of us would protest that of course we love our children without any strings attached. But what counts is how things look from the perspective of the children — whether they feel just as loved when they mess up or fall short.

(Source: When a Parent’s ‘I Love You’ Means ‘Do as I Say’ by Alfie Kohn in the NY Times)

Recently, I purchased a Patapum (touted as better than the Ergo) as a spare carrier to bring out in case Bear got tired and wanted me to back carry him.

I currently have 3 baby carriers. The Ergo Black with Cranberry lining is an at-home carrier while the beautiful Ergo Organic Carrier Black with Embroidery from my BFF figur8 is for going out.

The Patapum was cheaper at S$145 (before any discounts) and seemed a good idea to try a different carrier (the Beco was too expensive at S$250 or S$210 cheapest I saw it and was a nightmare to put on and unsuitable for toddlers).

In retrospect it was a bad idea. Being an Ergo user for about 3 years, it is easy to compare and clearly the Ergo comes out tops. Here’s why:

SUPPORT

Patapum – Adjust poorly and your shoulder blades will ache within minutes of carrying a toddler. Otherwise, both baby and toddler feel the same in it as the Ergo, fairly weightless.

Ergo – Good as gold, around the world. It feels soft yet stable for you and baby (and/or toddler, if x2). Although the stiff waist in the Patapum is supposed to be better support, I find the Ergo’s softer waist more comfortable with similar support.

BACK CARRY

Patapum – Particularly for toddlers and a back carry, it is imperative that it is easy to put the toddler in and remove the toddler.

Needing to insert the toddler’s legs inside 2 loops (of straps) to put him or her on the back is not easy on the fly. And it is absolutely hellish trying to remove the toddler whose 2 legs are now stuck in 2 loops.

You clearly need someone to help you carry the toddler out of the carrier or to have a platform high enough for toddler to sit, remove legs, and not trip over the straps while trying to extract self.

Circle marks the spot your toddler has to slip legs through

No strap enclosures to lift your child out of

Ergo – With the Ergo, I get Bear to stand on a chair or I squat down, pull up the shoulder straps and clip. He’s on. To remove, I just unclip and slide him down my body slowly.

If you look at the picture of the Ergo above, it is wider, so lends more support to the curve of baby’s bottom and you can release and slide the toddler down easily if you back carry as there are no extra leg hole straps to have to lift him or her out of, like in the Patapum.

The extra support from those straps, touted by Patapum, is really replicated by Ergo’s wider body design.

NURSING

Patapum – The waist straps are really difficult to adjust while carrier was being used. They are way too stiff to just slide loose with one hand (or with 2).

If I need to nurse and so, need to loosen the waist strap to lower baby down, it is impossible. I have to remove the carrier, use 2 hands to concertedly readjust the strap and then wear it again. By which time, baby would be screaming.

Ergo – All I have to do is loosen the waist strap with one hand, with baby still in the carrier, lower the waist strap so baby sits lower and nursing’s a snap.

SHARING

Patapum – As the Patapum is so difficult to adjust, my husband tried carrying Bear in it just once and gave up after 5 minutes when his shoulders ached and he couldn’t readjust it. Swore never to use it again.

I remember reading how a family bought 2 just so they wouldn’t have to readjust the carrier. Not very user-friendly at all.

Ergo – We swap it in a snap. (Sorry, pun!)

MATERIAL

Patapum – The carrier had a strong chemical smell when I first opened it. Formaldehyde in the canvas and polyester? I don’t know. And it did not come out after the first wash but after the 3rd and about 3 days of airing.

While the materials are certified by 3 different bodies in 3 different countries, after 3 washes it looks 3 years old after only 2 weeks old and less than 10 wears.

The colour has faded a little, and worst of all, one of the snaps has rusted (click image below to see close up of rusted snap), and the 3 snap enclosures have loose thread hanging out of them.

The snaps are also distinctly misaligned (see pic below) and the workmanship not as well as the Ergo’s.

The canvas is so rough to touch and I hate the polyester feel in the waist (mothers sweat there too) and shoulders, and wonder why they used it.

Patapum snaps with threads loose after only 2 weeks!
Click image to see rusted snap up close.

Ergo – My 3 year old Ergo Black still looks good. Used but definitely still in excellent condition. It is poly + cotton but doesn’t feel hot or uncomfortable.

My Ergo Organic Black with Embroidery is still looking new after 4 months of wear, feels soft and wonderful, and I wash both Ergos weekly.

Excellent workmanship on both carriers and the soft cotton waist strap (even the instruction label inside is cotton) absorbs all my sweat when carrying Kitten.

Buy organic if you’re worried about chemicals in the material but I never had any smell issues even with the non-organic one.

In the pictures, the carriers haven’t been washed in days and this is with baby puke in them, and wear from use outdoors (excluding the Ergo Black).

3 year old Ergo Black with Cranberry Lining

4 month old Ergo Organic Carrier Black with Embroidery

2 week old black Patapum

PORTABILITY

Patapum – Wrap it up and snap, or so it seems. The snaps work so poorly that they take a while to match up and press down accurately. Still, once snapped, you can carry it on your shoulder, clip it to your pram, or hook it onto your backpack.

Ergo – With the organic Ergo, you can tie the hood straps around the waist band and clip. Same with the Ergo black. The soft material means you can stuff it in your bag. Not so, with the stiff waist strap of the Patapum.

CONCLUSION

Many look at the design and price when buying a baby carrier, but also consider your daily usage and how easy to use the carrier is. For me, having to navigate my toddler’s legs through a pair of hoops proved to be a tad too unusable in the end for my purpose. Whatever the case, always try a baby carrier before buying it, be it from a friend or store.

My main issues with the Patapum are the shoddy workmanship and the poor usability of the design, particularly since they actually designed a toddler version of their carrier, which I bought for carrying a toddler in the back. (Plus the store here that sold the Patapum does not take returns, even for this dreadful workmanship.)

The Ergo at S$160 (organic from S$210-S$230) costs only slightly more than the Patapum which retails for S$148. I’d tell you to forget the Patapum and go buy the Ergo as a main or a spare. You won’t be disappointed.

(Note: 1 USD = + – 1.5 SGD)

So it came to pass one fine sunny Sunday when I decided it was time for me to try reintegrating the cats again. This time with plenty of positive reinforcement.

First, Bear, Kitten, and I sat down and hand fed the kids some treats. We petted them and talked to them. Buffy stared at us rather confused. I felt sad.

Tux ate most of the treats as usual and the younger 2 merely peered out. The older 3 explored the kitchen.

Later, Kitten and I said bye to the boys and we went to the bedroom as Buffy followed us expectantly. She jumped onto the stair ledge as she always did and Tux lounged along the stairs.

We went outside to look for the other 2. Sam scuttled to look for Buffy and Tux while we found Kaku lounging on her table in the cat room, probably pleased to have the place all to herself.

To my greatest delight and surprise, she meowed at me and let me stroke her just like before.

She never forgot our bond – she still hisses at daddy and only I have been ever allowed to pet her. I felt so sad and sorry that we’d wasted all this time due to my old complacency and fear of being unable to cope… But here were we.

The sweet girl even rolled around inviting me to pet her and she allowed me to groom her for a good ten minutes then stood up. Buffy had come in.

I realised then Kaku would have been a perfect only cat, just like Boy. Indeed I adore her because she is so much like him, a female him, both perfect. It was love at first sight when I first saw her too.

So we spent the afternoon together. Tux, Buffy, and Sam tried repeatedly to climb onto the bed and get into the closet but was repeatedly foiled by me. They settled for under the bed as compensation.

Kaku wandered as far as the couch where she sat on the couch head, so like Boy. I tried getting close to snap a photo but she hissed and jumped off. Other cats were about.

Buffy watched as I attempted to doze beside a playful Kitten but failed. Tux lay on the floor. Earlier he and Sam played hide under the rug. I nudged him and he ran like a bat out of hell.

Finally it was dinner time and their daddy fed them and ushered them all back to their room.

It wasn’t till the children were asleep and I was in the kitchen that I realised Kaku was still inside. She’d been lying on the same spot on the couch and hissed at me to get my attention.

I duly opened the grille door and indicated for her to go out and she did. Just as Buffy was trying to slip in unnoticed.

I’ve decided to move Bear to using cloth+wool during the day so I needed to order some larger sizes for him and we needed a safer leak-proof solution for the night and ordered an organic wool shortie for him.

Here is Twig & Vine’s Organic Bamboo and Hemp Fitted Diaper. We ordered 4, 1 in L (which incidentally is XL under Loveybums’ sizing chart – with this in mind, always check the measurements rather than rely on weight or assume all sizes are the same) and 3 in M.

And we also ordered an organic O-Wool wool shortie (aka soaker) from blue cloud. Love that it is lanolized and ready to use.

I couldn’t resist blue cloud‘s heavenly organic hemp blankie for Kitten. After a day of mulling and polling my friends, I chose the natural over the wine.

I had such a wonderful buying experience from both sellers.

They were kind enough to answer my many questions (I can be quite long-winded – they were very patient and nice about it – a smiley face goes a long way). Both took the time to help me check shipping rates and offered the most cost-savings option before I ordered, which is important for us international buyers (as I type this, the USD is about 1.5x the Singapore dollar). Most importantly, they were very cheery and sweet and so lovely to deal with. They have a customer for life in me.

More evidence that houseplants clean our air.

The experiment was conducted by Dennis Decoteau of Penn State’s Department of Horticulture with a snake plant, spider plant, and golden pothos inside “experimental chambers in a greenhouse equipped with a charcoal filtration air supply system to measure ozone depletion rates.”

While it took 75 minutes for ozone levels to come down in plantless chambers, air in chambers with plants reached the target in just 50 minutes. He speculates the plants take in the ozone through their stomates (tiny pores used for gas exchange) and then break it down once inside the plant.

The article also recommended keeping plants in our rooms because:

* Plant-filled rooms contain up to 60 percent fewer airborne molds and bacteria than rooms without plants, studies show.

* People who work in offices with windows and plants are happier than others, according to a study of 450 office workers in Texas and the Midwest. In fact, 82 percent of the participants who worked with plants and windows around said they felt “content” or “very happy,” compared with 58 percent in windowless plant-less offices who said the same.

* Plants seem to make people more contemplative and self-reflective, according to one ethnologist.

For 47 more houseplants that clean your air, check out How to Grow Fresh Air: 50 House Plants that Purify Your Home or Office.

My sinuses have cleared since I put houseplants in my bedroom (since January actually). To date, we have a large Areca Palm (temperamental thing), 2 Snake Plants (hardy), 6 Corn Plants (easiest to manage), and 1 Spider Plant (who goes out for sun and rotates with its brethren outside). These are ideal for an air conditioned bedroom in the tropics. My poor Peace Lily just died. RIP dear fellow.

And we just had a leak. A big one. A small puddle and half a soaked pj later, I changed the perplexed toddler (who confessed to peeing several times) to a L diaper and had a revelation:

The XL simply did not fit the XL wool cover. The L fitted it perfectly.

The leak had seeped out the side where it was peeking, although the soaked through hemp soaker and diaper technically should have contained it if the wool had covered it properly.

Now, Kitten is using a L-L combo and the cover covers all quite comfortably so I suspect either the XL was accidentally shrunk or Bear’s simply grown.

The solution: forget wool covers, just buy a wool shortie (underwear with cuffs) for your wool+diaper solution. That will solve the diaper peekaboo problem (and if I find a diaper without too-tight elastic on the back and thighs, I’ll get them all).

I’ll have to admit I am a little addicted already. I found myself scouring Loveybums if they have any seconds I could get and was relentlessly clicking through Whoopeekiddies to look at the BumGeniuses (and very very heavenly hemp wash cloths, supposedly cloth wipes but I stuff them in my cleavage to soak up excess sweat when I carry Kitten and emergency burp cloth).

Then I realised this was the perfect time to try different diapers. I had enough diapers for 1.5 days really, and seriously needed another night cloth diaper for Bear because it was his diaper that I had to wash and dry daily so he could wear it again the next night and another wool cover because his Loveybums XL cloth diaper seems to keep peeking out of the XL wool cover. Not good cos it caused one leak already.

I found some wonderfully soft bamboo hemp diapers from the awesome Twig & Vine I plan to order soon when some money comes in. I like that the elastic at the back and legs are not sewed as crunched up tight as the ones on the Loveybums ones which cause Kitten to have red marks in those areas when I carry her in the Ergo. Don’t the Twig & Vine diapers look heavenly?

That brings my count to:

1 NB/S organic cloth diaper (which might retire soon)
5 M organic cloth diaper
2 L organic cloth diaper
1 XL organic cloth diaper
4 organic wool cover (1 for each size)
7 BumGeniuses
To order another 4 bamboo hemp diapers (still deciding on the sizes but most likely 2L + 2XL)

Total: 20 diapers for 2 kids (half the stash is shareable)

That should tide us through washing once in 2 days + air drying the laundry rather than using the dryer every day. Our electricity bill has gone up $50 since we started cloth diapering but we save that $50 too on not buying disposables.

Hemp is tons more absorbent than cotton and bamboo is somewhere in between. I was thrilled that a single insert (hemp or bamboo+cotton) is sufficient stuffing for the kids overnight and by day they don’t need any stuffing.

Why organic? I figure if we go cloth, we go all the way. It is better for the planet and for our kids. The process of making cotton and even bamboo fabrics is pretty darned harmful to our planet, so supporting the organic textiles industry is the way to go.

DH says that cloth diapering and laundering indulge my OCD tendency to clean. Well, it should feel good to be good to our children and our planet, no?

Since our first review of the Best iPhone Apps for Toddlers back in February 2009, lots of apps have been added to the iTunes store. But for educational children’s apps, some of the best are sequels. Here’s what we have on our iPod Touch now and are still playing.

1. Elephant Song

Wonderfully interactive, beautifully simple pictures, and a lovely song. When my son first played it, it was my morning anthem for a few weeks. After a while, I couldn’t get the song out of my head. It originated in YouTube but found its way to the iPhone, and for that I am grateful. The recent upgrade has made it more interactive. And to top it off, the app is free.

2. Preschool Arcade

The sequel to Preschool Adventure. Again, I woke up to the sounds of the arcade with this game which I’d been reluctant to try because I was afraid it wouldn’t be educational. But the developers very pleasantly surprised me and what followed was an educational, musical extravaganza which taught my son numbers, alphabets, and shapes in an arcade environment. Very cleverly educational and very good family fun for the children.

3. Ike’s Machine

This is also a sequel to Ike the Inventor, this time for slightly older kids. But you get to create things from blueprints that show the formulas (e.g. to make a book, you need 5 units of a blue stick, 10 units of a green stick, and 50 units of a green liquid). I thought it might have been too difficult for a 3 year old, but no, with a few weeks of help, my son soon mastered reading measurements from a blueprint and addition from this wonderful app and can now play it himself. Kudos to the brilliant inventor!

4. The Boy Who Cried Wolf

From the same people who brought you The Little Red Hen, the same delightful little girl narrates the familiar story of the boy who cried wolf, along with interactive characters and a kind end to this morality tale.

5. Dem Bones

A really fun game to teach kids about our skeleton. A skeleton is laid bare at the start with a pile of bones on the ground. The child must then put the bones back to where they belong according which bone is called. Good giggly fun for parent and child to play together.

6. Where’s Gumbo?

A classic “find someone” game turned interactive. Cute and engaging for a toddler, and switches on their seeking radar (see: The Science of Parenting).

7. First Words: At Home

From the First Words series. A child learns spelling by putting the alphabets back into the shadowed boxes. Simple, familiar, and educational.

8. ShapeBuilder

This one sparks everyone’s curiosity. A shape is presented with various jigsaw pieces to be filled. When filled, it transforms into either a gimme or an object you just could not have thought of. Very fun for both parent and child. Bear played this for hours.

9. Artsee

Similar to ShapeBuilder but this time you use your finger to splatter paint onto the shape and you’ll be asked to guess what it is out of 3 options. I say “you” in this case because I end up playing it too.

10. Old MacDonald’s Farm

Old MacDonald’s has expanded his farm with more animals than Noah could ever hold. This time, we can listen to him sing about sharks, dinosaurs, walruses, and even an octopus. It brought us lots of laughs and very loud animal sounds. No, no one called the zoo.

Part 1, written in February 2009, can be found here. Also cross-posted to my tech blog.