Strange Machines

Bear’s been up every night from 3am to almost 6am since a couple of weeks back. Okay actually I don’t remember exactly. But recently. Cos I have been getting 4-5 hours sleep every night by the time I finally put him back to bed.

He wakes at 3. I nurse and he’s out again by 3.15. Cries again around 3.40 then nurses till 4.15. I think he’s sleeping at 4.30 and run off to pee but then he howls for me and throws himself into my lap. We nurse again till 5. I try to sneak off. He sits up and holds my arm. So here I am back at 5.37, typing furiously. Wondering when my sweet son will sleep through the night. Well, at least go back to sleep easy.

Oops he stirs again.

Our world is becoming increasingly fractured.

Humans, social animals by nature, are sequestered from the better world by crazy work hours, social obligations (not usually for pleasure, or so it seems), and an idle inquiry in the unimportant (aka TV).

People are turning to counsellors to their problems. Few have time to listen and few feel compelled to open up to their friends, especially if they haven’t spent enough time nurturing their friendships with work hours getting ridiculously longer. And those are the lucky ones. Many turn to drink or worse vices. Heck if you need to find someone to talk to in person, check out a Counseling Services List or a Counseling Services Directory.

A friend of mine once said, if you want a happy life, move to Australia where people finish work at 4 or 5, have time for outdoor activities, their families, have barbecues with friends and overall, lead a more peaceful life. You can actually have a family life.

And it is true. Friends of mine there are happily taking at least a year off to nurture their children. Fathers have time to spend with their children. They live in a nice house with a garden (with actual grass). No one feels hurried or caught in a rat race to compete.

Here, we’re in the thick of it. But it is possible to live in the rat race but not compete. What is a rat race but an unending loop which no one ever wins. Heck even Bill Gates got toppled with Warren Buffett (my idol) this year. It is possible to exist in the system but live out of it. And believe me, we are much happier than when we were both working and getting home at 9-10pm every night.

We don’t go to fancy restaurants, drive a fancy car, buy that spanking new condo, or buy any branded stuff. Everything’s made in China nowadays anyway – what’s the difference but the tag? My $3 Old Navy tee feels more comfortable than the $50 (see I can’t even remember the brand) top I bought years ago on sale. Plus, having modelled before, I am used to people paying me to wear their label, not me pay for their label and wear it for them all the time!

Good quality food and books are what we spend our money on, as well as paying off our home and car. The rest, we spend with family and good friends. Bear changed it for us. We want a better world for him. A better life. A happy life. Children do that I think. He has changed us for the better.

I try to cook more, to create a sweet family environment for Bear to grow up in. To remember his Mom in the kitchen cooking for him, Dad coming home to hug and kiss him. Us having dinner and talking together. Mom and Dad reading to him, sharing a cuddle before bedtime. Those are the things I want him to remember. A loving happy home.

For 3 months now I have carried my own bags out. I make my own cloth bags and roll them up so I always have a bag of any size when I buy stuff. I am proud to say I have been plastic bag-free for 3 months. Then there was today. At Isetan I couldn’t resist their supermarket-wide 10% sale so I grabbed 2 bags of Kettle chips, 2 slices of black cod fillet, and some bread and let the cashier bag them.

My extra bag wouldn’t have carried everything and I was carrying a fluey and fussy Bear, fluey myself and tired from a sprained shoulder, knee, and sore back. Yeah excuses… Of all days to forget my Reisenthal.

Anyway to compensate, I posted 7 Green Things You Can Do Online To Save the World (and some Money too!) on my tech blog to make up for it. Enjoy!

Since as far as I can remember, Bear has always loved puzzles. One of his fave toys is still a wooden puzzle box with many 3-piece animal jigsaws inside. He’ll sit and play while he has lunch or dinner. At his cousin’s he encountered a more complex set of jigsaws. Some were up to 15 pieces.

Still he was unfazed. He’d ask me to help and I gladly taught him to look at the board and look at the pieces, fit in the corners, then the sides, and then the middle pieces. To my amazement, he managed a 9 piece puzzle by himself today! I was so proud!

First off, Nicole Kidman gave birth today to a 6 pound baby girl named Sunday Rose Kidman Urban. She’ll be needing lots of cool baby gear now. Congrats to the happy parents and their lovely new addition.

I always find heavily pregnant women trawling the baby section of Isetan and feel like telling them when they pick up that armful of useless baby things, “You won’t use those! Save your money!” But I don’t unless they pick up a BPA bottle. Then I get upset.

Anyway. The important thing is to be prepared. Shop around first. Surf the net. Lots of stuff and information there. A good place to start is a wiki for baby stuff. Yup, there’s one. It is called ShopWiki and under their critter section, you’ll find tons of cool baby gear, all objectively crawled from online stores all over.

Don’t waste your money on the Baby Bjorn. Get the Ergo or any other one with waist support. Then buy a baby sling that is light and you and other male relatives would actually carry. There are nice ones that actually fold into themselves and wrap into an attached pouch. Forget the rest.

Of course if you travel with your child a lot, here are nice baby moving equipment to consider. Your pet can probably sit inside with it.

Aside from my BFF Shen, of course. And before you get married!

I believe every woman, where financially possible, should have a diamond set for that special occasion (and trust me, after becoming a mom you’ll be craving for opportunities to glam up).

The diamonds don’t have to be big and expensive but they should match in terms of colour and size, the latter of which should vary no more than 0.3-0.8 carats for all items. Better a sweet 0.5 carat H colour set than a 0.5 F colour set. The naked eye can’t see the difference unless you compare literally side by side.

A basic set should consist of a pair of diamond studs (no danglers), a solitaire ring, and a pendant, and if you’re fortunate enough to have a fairy godmother give you for your wedding, a tennis bracelet. Acquire them one at a time. Don’t bust your budget and shop around for a good deal. When it comes to jewelry, it’s best to buy from someone you trust or ask your friends for the name of their long-time jeweler.

To me, certificates are just a way for the shop to earn another thousand bucks. Diamonds have little resale value and certainly not worth the hocking value. You buy it because you want to wear it, not for “investment”. So take your time to choose (years even…) and choose wisely within your budget.

Should you want to check out online jewelry stores, My Jewelry Box has a lovely selection, from diamond rings to lovely ruby earrings (my fave!). Its easy and intuitive interface offers many browsing options, should you prefer to browse by material, product, or price. I like that they have a comprehensive 30 day return policy, in case you feel antsy about buying online or change your mind about your purchase.

Browsing online gives you the lazy pleasure of taking your time to look at the products without a salesperson breathing down your neck, although you miss out on the guilty pleasure and temptation of trying out that one carat ring. Still, their return policy means that you can buy and try without any worries and it is great for an online store to care so much about customer satisfaction.

The Clearance Center is my fave section since you can probably pick up great bargains from there. But I love that they put their sweetest picks for you to drool at on the homepage, smack centre (best online real estate) so you can’t miss it. I am a sucker for blood red rubies so the earrings have caused a puddle on my laptop.

You could spend a whole day browsing (as I have). But take your time. Buying jewelry is a very personal journey. Enjoy it. And when your set is complete, and even if it is not, sweep your hair up, wear minimal makeup, don an elegant black dress, and your sparkling diamonds (remember to soak them in detergent overnight and use toothpaste to brush them clean the day before) and you’ll look a million bucks.

I never realised it but I was schooling Bear about needs vs wants from the day he could say Toys R Us some one year ago.

Before we go into Toys R Us, I’d tell him whether it is a looking trip or a buying trip. He’d nod okay and proceed to thrill himself looking at all the cars. It is roughly one buying trip per 10 looking trips and usually he can choose something small for himself that costs under $10.

Initially he’d buy something cos he can but more recently he would choose something that he really likes. If he doesn’t like anything, he wouldn’t buy anything since I tell him he can carry a buying trip forward to the next trip.

Of course there are the sums too. He’s been more fascinated about bigger cars because the doors can open and close and sometimes he asks if he can buy those. I’d point to the price and say, that costs $49 and it is way more than $10.

My friend Sarah tells of a trip she, her boyfriend, dear hubby, and Bear had at Toys R Us. Someone asked if Bear wanted to buy anything and he proclaimed, “no need”. His Dad was so proud, he said, “that’s my boy!” I was so proud too!

On a separate note, I started reading Chinese books to him and he seems to be learning the Chinese characters faster than English words, although he can read most of the alphabets by now. His memory is amazing! He can cite some of the moons in the Solar System, some galaxies, and many nebulas! It is so thrilling to watch.