Strange Machines

So the past couple of weeks I have been shopping at Spotlight and buying tons of crafting supplies. All fabric and threads are 100% cotton and ribbons I got for making tags (or there lack of) are washable satin (but still polyester). I’m thinking no tag or cloth tag. My feeble attempts at embroidery got even the cats laughing.

Anyway, out of laziness I picked up a rotary cutter and a cutting mat. It was some Birch combo for $39.95 so I thought why not. Then this evening I opened it and the smell made me sick all night. I have since packed it back into its packaging to be returned to Spotlight tomorrow. If they mention the opened packaging, I’ll ask them to take a whiff. Man, I haven’t felt so nauseous since I ate those 5 bags of chips at one go.

I spent the better part of an hour Googling for an answer: what the heck is causing that godawful smell? Nowhere do they tell what the cutting mats are made of. The closest hint is that some cutting mats are made of PVC. And yeah, we know that smells and is toxic. Apparently, some smell and some don’t. A forum mentions that some mats just smell and it most likely won’t go away or will take 5 weeks.

I don’t think I can wait that long. Already the smell was seeping into the hallway so I quickly put it back into the packaging and double bagged it in an Ikea bag. There is a solution though but I don’t I’ll survive the smell long enough to do it. I still feel horrible sick as it is. So no cutting mat for me. It isn’t very green, being made of plastic anyway – the smell made me think of vinyl. I think I’ll stick to the good old scissors.

After about 10 bags, I think I have one that is in a saleable condition and of a shape women will carry (I am still working on a shape a man will carry but the husband had very politely refused to be seen carrying all the other 10 I have made). It is made out of a lovely black and white cat fabric I got last week (made in Korea) with black threading and handles, which make it quite pretty.

I like the idea of carrying cloth bags. The polyester ones, while strong, feel really plasticky against my skin. I have assigned one small black tote (which rolls up and ties on the side of my larger tote – now the main bag) for bread and those delish Spinelli oatmeal and raisin cookies. I usually carry another organic produce bag inside just in case.

Now the first cat bag I made I decided to keep for myself. The sewing was pretty and all, but I just wanted to keep that first cat bag for myself. And I just repeated myself repeating myself. That contains all the stuff I need when I leave the house. And that sweet tiny bag sits inside the main black tote, which incidentally was just finished today. That one was perfectly sized. Wolf’s car bag (picture forthcoming too) with his diaper, spare clothes, wipes, snacks, and random toy sits beside that.

So when need be, I can whip out both bags, have Wolf carry his cute car bag, I carry my cat bag, and the black tote bag can carry shopping! And won’t we look a hip mom and Wolf pair. I haven’t taken a single plastic bag in 2 weeks! Feels great to refuse all those plastic bags they give at Bread Talk. The girl happily placed all the bread in my cloth bag.

Incidentally, I made a new large blue Biscuit out of lovely 100% cotton fleecy but since Wolf “borrowed” the one we gave Amber, he is happy to give it to Aunty Angie when we meet her on Saturday. I used the Singer this time and the curves took a while to get used to but before long, I was swivelling the fabric like a pro. 3 hours on a machine instead of 8 hours by hand. Definitely a time saver!

Now, if I can only stop the nausea…

Today we celebrated Father’s Day at Modestos and then went to paint Takashimaya red. Our dear aunt NH called to say she was at the airport with her boys and we sped off to meet them. I told Wolf in the car we were going to see his grandaunt and uncles and he was thrilled. It had been 4 months since he saw them and he remembered them very well.

In fact, when they showed up, he walked right up to her, peered at her and said “Gu Puo (grandaunt in Chinese)”. She was so amazed she gave him a big hug. We had dinner at Crystal Kitten and he let his young uncles carry and play with him. He even showed off the “car bag” I made for him.

“Car bag,” he proclaimed, and proudly displayed the sling bag hung diagonally around him. “Mama made!” I was so thrilled. It was the first thing he showed everyone at lunch and at the airport today when he met them, right after wishing all the fathers a loud “Happy Father’s Day!”. His Dad and I were so proud of him.

He remembers things very acutely. From the broken car mirror on the silver car at the Forum Toys R Us (now fixed, but he reminds me every time, “not broken”, when we go there) to who bought him what. He remembers all his extended family and even people he met just once and where. It is remarkable. Even the things we don’t review at the end of the day. I would always ask him if he had a great day and what he did today. Still months later he will amaze me by remembering something I barely registered.

At Terminal 3, he weighed himself at an empty check-in counter. He is 12.3kg and 94 cm tall at 25 months, one heck of a runner, bilingual, a competent singer (he sang Twinkle Twinkle Little Star to me this morning, out of nowhere), an avid dreamer (he’ll tell me about his dreams – sweet dreams about everyone hugging), a loving and affectionate child (he’ll hug and kiss and tell his loved ones he loves them in English and Chinese), and that amazing memory.

And in other news, a sweet evening with Boy tonight. Ah I love my boys so much.

I admit I get a lot of flak for this. Wolf sleeps from 11pm to 11am. I sleep from 4am to 11am. I need my personal time. For a person used to independence and heaps of down time and personal time, motherhood had made creative timekeeping a necessity. But criticism has been all round so I have kept from blogging about it (to stem the flak) till I realised many parents probably do the same and hesitate to tell anyone about it.

Most families, with at least one parent working at least till 6, will have only 1.5 hours face time with their child. This raises the question of what sort of quality time will a child get if he sleeps at 8pm? Working people need to unwind just like the rest of us so how does baby get time with Dad and Mom who just got home?

Let’s do an imaginary schedule: Dad finishes work at 6pm. Comes home by 6.30. Mom gets dinner ready by 7.30 while Dad naps or plays with baby. Meal ends with dessert by 8.30. Dad plays with baby while Mom does dishes. Mom takes a shower and gets ready for baby to have his. Now it is 9.

Baby baths with Dad and gets handed to Mom. 9.15. Mom dries and dresses baby as he plays with his cars. Dad joins them on the bed for reading time. 9.30. 3 books are read and discarded. 10. Baby wants a bit more time with cars. Ok. Mom and Dad negotiate with him and he willingly stops playing by 10.15. Lights out at 10.20 after hugs and kisses.

Baby nurses and finally falls asleep by 11.

Now that is a day we spend at home.

If we go out or to Grandma’s for dinner, we don’t get home till 9.30 or 10. Push forward and baby doesn’t sleep till 11 or 11.30. Sometimes 12.

Then he wakes up for milk at least twice a night. Some nights more, and that makes me wonder about weaning. But as Dr Sears says, weaning is a journey from one relationship to another.

Weaning is not a negative term, nor is it something that you do to a child. Weaning is a journey from one relationship to another. The Hebrew word for wean is gamal, meaning “to ripen.” In ancient times, when children were breastfed until two or three years of age, it was a joyous occasion when a child weaned. It meant the child was filled with the basic tools of the earlier stages of development and secure and ready to enter the next stage of development. A child who is weaned before his time may show anger, aggression, habitual tantrum-like behavior, anxious attachment to caregivers, and an inability to form deep and intimate relationships. We call these traits diseases of premature weaning.

I am glad I decided to breastfeed Wolf till he is ready to wean. My gynae nursed her daughter till she self-weaned at 3 and supported my decision to breastfeed till he self-weans. It is sometimes tiring but I realise these nights spent nursing him arm him with a security, strength, and capacity for intimacy he will have all his life and it is worth it. What is 3 years in the face of 90 years for a child I love and adore? Nothing.

Well-meaning people have expressed tons of concern about the weaning and the strange hours we keep. But how strange are the hours? It is a necessity set in place by the working world. A child should not be forced to bed early just so “it is normal” and be denied time with his parents, especially those working. Nor will such children suffer for it because children are highly adaptable. While in Melbourne, Wolf woke at 9 with the sun on his face. I had to put him to bed at 9 just so he’d get his 12 hours every night – essential for brain development.

Back home, Wolf sleeps from 11pm to 11am (and more recently, 10pm to 11am with a 1-2 hour nap from 3-4 or 3-5 in between). Voluntarily too! I ask him if he is ready to sleep and he says yes, hugs Biscuit and lies down beside me for the joys of having both boobs to himself! He is alert and happy every day and wakes up refreshed with a cheery “wake up, Mama” in my face in the morning and tell me his dreams from the night before.

My mother often says, look at the hours you keep. How will Wolf wake up for school next time? Now, if I am a case in point then I reinforce the notion that children are adaptable. I slept from 8pm to 8am from the day I was born till I went to school and STILL I had trouble waking up at 545am. Mom had to literally drag my sorry ass out of bed every day.

The most important thing every parent needs to do is to ensure their child gets 12-14 hours of sleep every day. It is critical for their brain development (yes I have said this twice already but it is critical). Keep your curtains closed (get black-out curtains if you need to) to encourage your child to sleep longer. Nursing babies sleep longer especially with Mom next to them for love and comfort. Here are more sleep tips from Dr Sears. We used many in the early days and they are very helpful, especially understanding how babies sleep.

And the Moms? Before baby, I used to thrive on 9-10 hours sleep a night. Uninterrupted. (Okay, that was before WoW. WoW was training for motherhood. We played from 8pm to 2am every day but that’s another story.) Now my body has gotten used to 5-6 hours a night (a nap with Wolf in the afternoon helps). Of course, 8 hours is still ideal but some nights like tonight when I dozed off nursing Wolf at 10pm and then waking alert at 1am, and will probably sleep again by 4am, the 6 hours I will get keeps me refreshed.

With nursing, most interruptions are brief and if I am sleeping, mostly unfelt. Wolf knows his way around now and helps himself to milk at night! In fact, tonight after his second session, he made a leap, eyes closed, for the boob while I tried to edge away. I was so amused I let him nurse for another session till he unlatched himself and draped himself over my pillow and feet on Daddy’s face.

Whenever I have to nurse Wolf in the middle of the night, I always cop a sniff of his cheeks before I offer him the boob.

Oh the wonderful sweet scent of a baby’s cheek. His breath is like nectar. It lets ooze all the mushy mommy feelings and I gladly lie here next to him till he falls asleep again.

Our sense of smell is probably our most acute. One sniff and it brings us back to a forgotten time and place.

Ah here he’s done. I’m gonna cop another sniff…