Strange Machines

It is bizarre! We came home today to find our home infested with roaches. Not the tiny sort-of cute ones that look like gentle bugs but the large brown ones with twitchy limbs and the ability to fly in your hair. I wondered if it was the cheap pest control stations I installed the day before that was attracting them. Most likely but anyway, too late for regret. Now it was time for action.

I evacuated Wolf into the kitchen along with the cats while their Dad bravely ventured into the bathroom and bedroom, attacking the roaches with our bug killer and picking them up with a long pair of chopsticks while they twitched some more in the bin. He even got one off near the ceiling. Our hero!

Breastfeeding was one of the things I knew I wanted to do as a mother. Not only is it good for Wolf – he was only ever sick twice and very mildly so – it is also good for me. I lost all my pregnancy weight in the first month and have since lost even more. It helps us both sleep well at night and it has been wonderful in building a strong bond between us as mother and son.

Now as Wolf enters his 10th month, we look like we’re going full speed ahead. When he was born, he was placed gently on me and instinctively his mouth sought my breast and he began to suckle. However, like most Asian babies, he had jaundice and had to be kept in the nursery under a UV light for 5 days.

This is when I am grateful for that Robinsons shopping trip I made with my Mom a month ago. Clunky at 9 months, we made what would be my last shopping trip out. I was determined to breastfeed even after returning to work and decided it would be most time efficient to buy a dual breast pump (I got the Medela).

For the five critical days when baby was in hospital without me, I pumped feverishly as engorgement set in 24 hours a day. We made 3-4 deliveries of freshly pumped breast milk to the hospital daily for Wolf and I cherished the times when I could nurse him in the nursing room. If I missed his scheduled feeding, I just left the bottle(s) there and looked at him sleeping in his incubator.

When he came home, I had some trouble breastfeeding from sheer exhaustion. So I alternated between nursing and pumping. It helped so much when hubby and I got dengue and was ill beyond belief. Wolf never got the bug and my Mom helped feed him at night with my pumped milk while I lay in bed with high fever.

Soon the storm passed and we went home, all well again. I stopped pumping eventually as we steadily eased into a comfortable nursing relationship, but had I not had my breast pumps with me, it might be a different story now.

We had Wolf with us for the first 2 days so he had the start of the colostrum (thick yellow fluid which has essential antibodies in them) but the next 5 days had I not pumped, firstly my breasts would have exploded (joking!) and we might have had a bumpier time trying to establish my milk supply again.

On help with breastfeeding, visit the La Leche League. For some mothers it may be tough and difficult to breastfeed initially, but don’t give up. The first month is the hardest. Once you get past that tough stage, I promise it will be worth the ride. For both of you.

If you’re feeling down or sad for apparently no reason, look around and see if the negativity is coming from somewhere nearby. Is it a well-meaning relative commenting on the neatness of your home, or your neighbour wondering about your ability to parent? All these gentle put-downs can be detrimental to your confidence as a mother and set you on the road to depression.

When this happens, identify the toxic comments and acknowledge them for what they are: someone’s opinion. You cannot change the words people choose to spew from their mouths but you can choose not to be physically close enough to hear them, or if it is not possible, choose to mark that person’s word as invalid (mind exercise: imagine everytime that person talks, place a mental stamp across his or her forehead).

You are your child’s best mother and you should not allow anyone to spoil that relationship. It is easy to believe someone else when you’re unsure, tired, and simply exhausted from parenting, whether or not you are working. If you allow that person to destroy your confidence as a mother, only you and your child will suffer for it. Not the commentor.

So give yourself a pat on the shoulder for being a great Mom. Trust your Mommy instincts. Yes, your Mommy radar is tuned. You know what your baby needs and you are confident to provide him with what he needs: love, food, warmth, comfort, and play. Your baby agrees too. Just look at his face light up when he sees you.

Despite feeling like a piece of crud this morning, I felt better in the afternoon to do some work. How? As with most viral infections, you need:

1. Rest
2. Fluids
3. Antioxidants
4. Stay happy

So here’s the plan of action:

1. Sleep as much as you can. If with child, have someone help you care for him or her.

2. Drink as much water as you can. As the mothers and grandmothers say (oh gosh, I am quoting them), flush the bugs out – figuratively of course.

3. Drink lots of green tea. It is proven in numerous peer-reviewed studies that green tea contains a lot of antioxidants that help get rid of free radicals (stuff that makes you age). Why do you think the Japanese have the healthiest and most elderly in the world?

4. Keep happy. A positive outlook on life is cited as half the job done in staying healthy. Keep happy people around you too! Wolf and my Mom have cheered me up so much today that I feel so much better.

Get well soon!

Wolf has been called clever baby twice in the last few days already and I can’t help but be the proud Mommy, despite coughing up green goo and having half my eyelids dragging the floor.

The first was during his Granduncle’s dinner when finally exhausted, I let him down to crawl around the floor. The waitresses were very entralled by him and one even gave me a demonstration.

“You see,” she said excitedly. “He picks up the wad of thread on the ground and gives it to me. He doesn’t eat it like other babies do.”

The other incident was his godsister Joyce’s dad who happily said how smart he is and how he thought he is a one year-old already.

I have no experience with other babies, being sadly uninvolved with my nieces and nephews’ day-to-day growth, hence I am unable to compare if he really is so. But to hear it from other people, is sheer heaven.

The price on the value of stay-home moms has been much deliberated in the news lately.

As one myself or soon to be as I wave goodbye to my career to stay home and care for Wolf, I can only say it’s ridiculous to monetise this vocation or add labels to women who choose to do so. If you must do so, why not place a higher value too on grandparents who do the same, or the young maids who do so without training for someone not of their kin.

All stay-home moms want is the recognition of how much we have given up to raise our children and that we should not be penalised for being selfish (or compared with NS men – hello, mandatory!), be considered without economic value, or any of the sillyisms we have heard recently for the simple act of placing our children before our careers because we think our children are worth it.

From my research, all the evidence for a happy, confident, successful, and well-adjusted adult points to a babyhood and childhood where Mom (or at the very least, an invested caregiver) has been (omni)present, interested in him and what he does, cherishes him, holds him often, and loves him unconditionally. As parents, we all do what we believe is best for our children. This is what I believe is best for him.

And this is what I want for Wolf. Not necessarily to have the best scores in school, to be a super athlete, or even to become a professional and make tons of money, but to be confident in who he is and in the choices he makes in life, and to know that no matter what bad things happen out in the world, his family loves him unconditionally for simply being him.

It is official. I have caught Wolf and his Dad’s stomach flu and it is certainly unpleasant.

I have been fighting dizziness, a totally stuffed nose, and a terrible headache. I took a Loratadine this morning but still feel awful.

Fortunately Wolf is better. His poo is now back to normal and he only pooed twice since last night. His appetite is back and he’s off playing again.

My head sure feels awful. Going back to lie down again.

Thank Grandmas for my mother and father who will be caring for Wolf while I rest.

I did this with Buffy in one second, yet Boy struggled, howled and swatted. Here’s a useful life hack on How to give your cat a pill in 7 steps, with step by step picture inclusion. Boy needs his pill daily so I might try these few useful ideas.

On a separate note, Kaku (see above pic) found herself on the wrong end of the door. I just went to the bathroom and this little cat came meowing rather anxiously at me. Just like the old days, she rolled around and let me pet her till I led her back to the others out back. It was so sweet though.

We had dinner with some relatives in Crystal Kitten tonight and Wolf had a great time crawling up and down the carpeted floor, enthralling everyone. Yeah his paws got rather black but he was so delighted, doing his circuit and patting his image in the mirror.

After changing his diaper and then swinging him around as he chuckled non-stop, I realised that he has 4 top teeth emerging! That probably explains why he has been fussy, on top of the tummy virus I think I caught from him.

My throat is starting to ache and I’ve been fighting cold-like symptoms for a few days now. Earlier before dinner my tummy started cramping and I knew it was my turn. With poor baby pooing 3x a night and 2x by day, I hope this bug clears up soon with me growing antibodies to feed him now.

Mom’s Beef Stew: an original recipe.

Makes one week’s supply of beef stew for babies and cats. So far the hubby says it is tasty, Wolf (the baby) likes only 3 bites, and the cats love it.

Ingredients:
300g premium minced beef
1 handful frozen sweet corn, peas, carrots
1/2 handful pasta (twirly ones in durum wheat)
1 small tomato (cut in 4)
10 leaves of baby spinach

Non-edibles:
Non-stick pot with cover
5 baby glass bottles, sterilised and dried
Bowl for distribution to cats

Cook it:
1. Throw all ingredients into pot.
2. Add water to just cover the ingredients.
3. Turn on fire. Ensure is boiling then turn to low.
4. Leave for 1 hour but return every 15 minutes to make sure it is not burnt. If running low on water, add a small bit more.
5. When cooked, let cool for a while before bottling. Put in freezer.
6. Place remainder in bowl and distribute to cats.

How to use:
When you wish to feed baby, put 1 bottle to thaw in refrigerator 4 hours before. If you forget, microwave on high for 1 minute then use spoon to stir. If still cold, repeat. If baby dislikes food, feed cats. If cats dislike it, you don’t have to make lunch for yourself.