Strange Machines

Wolf is now 9 months and a couple of weeks old. He loves Mr Skeletor (actually Wolf from A Nightmare Before Christmas), Humpty, and Tigger, and occasionally his bolster.

He pats things to indicate approval. He has a special cooing sound reserved for his loved ones. He hates clothes, changing diapers, and Mommy leaving.

He sleeps well generally waking once every 2-3 hours. Naptime is regular. Once at 1.30pm, 5-6pm, and another sometimes at 9pm. Every night he wakes up around twice on hands and legs crying or sitting. He looks perplexed. So am I and other Moms who report the same. It seems their bodies just do that. Learning all the time.

He’s on solids 2-3 times a day. His Grandma makes the yummiest meals. But he’s not fussed. He’ll eat baby food. He loves bananas and will eat almost anything. Like his Dad. He eats fastest when I feed him. Around 15 minutes. He weighs 9kg and is growing taller by the day. He has big feet. Sometimes I think he’ll be a 6 footer. Or at least as tall as Grandpa.

He’s mastered sitting up, crawling, and is now speeding up stairs. Navigating down the stairs is something he will soon be learning. He loves holding onto something and standing. Sometimes he lets go of one hand. Stands. And grins.

Time has flown so quickly. Soon he’ll be walking…

Sure I’ve read about it before but only over Chinese New Year did I realise its relevance and importance.

Most sleep experts say that a baby who naps more during the day sleeps better at night. It may seem contradictory but it had been shown repeatedly to be true. We managed a mini-sample over the weekend.

On the first day of CNY, we woke 2 hours early to visit my parents. The whole day got a bit messed up with us neglecting to take the 2 hour difference while scheduling his nap times. He woke several times that night, particularly in the first 2 hours when he woke every 20 minutes.

On the second day of CNY we took Wolf to Uncle Hon Chung’s house where he slept 20 minutes in the car… late as well… at 2pm. He usually sleeps between 1-1.30pm. We left Hon Chung’s house at 5.30pm (late for his 5pm nap). He got grumpy, fell asleep in the car. I held him for about 40 minutes before he woke up. That night he woke several times over the first 5 hours, about every 20 minutes.

I was beat. On the third day, and this is sounding like that Christmas song, I got him to nap at 1.30pm. He slept for 20 minutes but was happily chasing Sparky the dog after. Next, he napped from 7-8pm. Odd yeah, but that night he slept better and woke only the first time after 2 hours.

It’s easy to forget a baby’s naptime till he shows signs of fussiness. It is possible that by then, it is too late.

Some of the things Wolf says and has said and what they might mean:

Ay = Wah! Why are you denying me that?
Baba = Dad
Boo = Everything
Em = Protest
Gi = (can’t remember) (his first word at 2 weeks)
Goo = General coo
*Growl* = Curiously examining something
Ha = Excited noise
Hi = Hi
Mama = Mom
Mum Mum = Comfort (Mom or boob or both, preferably)

He did begin some faltering speech (see above examples) but stopped a couple of months ago. He’s been very focused on physical development – crawling, standing, climbing stairs. Plus we’ve been teaching him 2 languages. Boys do generally develop speech later.

I’ve been thinking a lot about flow lately and what sort of activities I do get immersed in, some practical, some not, and that explains why sometimes I get annoyed when interrupted midway of the activity.

* Organising pix of my cats and Wolf
* Meddling with my blog or website
* Playing any RPG
* Oil painting
* Reading an engaging book
* Watching an engaging movie
* Watching a happy scene in my mind’s eye

Flow is a sort of play for adults and kids alike which has been proven to bring happiness and fulfillment.

One route to more happiness is called “flow,” an engrossing state that comes during creative or playful activity, psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi has found. Athletes, musicians, writers, gamers, and religious adherents know the feeling. It comes less from what you’re doing than from how you do it.

(Source: The Keys to Happiness, and Why We Don’t Use Them)

For me, it is very therapeutic to immerse myself into something for a while.

Happiness is within our reach. We just have to stretch out and grasp it.

There’s so much misinformation out there about parenting from harmful advice such as cry-it-out (CIO), not “spoiling” your baby, or sleep training your baby (see more studies on sleep) to simply annoying groundless superstitions and anecdotes. So it was with a breath of fresh air that KellyMom, a great evidence-based parenting resource, was found. It is a true gem in the wastelands of the web.

As with every other science, we can never be absolutely sure. But with peer-review studies turning up the same conclusions, we can surmise that it is reasonably accurate. I have checked the findings against other books by parenting writers like Sears, Biddulph, and others, as well as research published in science and health journals and news releases, and each affirmation buoys my decision to practice attachment parenting (AP).

Here are the things I practice as a parent:

1. I breastfeed my baby on demand.
2. I wear my baby with a sling or baby carrier.
3. Baby sleeps with us in our bed.
4. When my baby cries, I pick him up.
5. I always show my baby love and respect.
6. When he looks at me or seeks me, I give him attention so he gains a sense of self-worth.
7. I don’t sleep train or potty train my baby.
8. My baby is with me wherever I go, meeting new people and new scenarios.
9. I continue learning about parenting.
10. I smile to my baby first thing in the morning.
11. I say no and redirect or distract.
12. I never punish my baby for being a baby.
13. I ensure his trust in me is never breached.
14. I always remind my baby how much I love him.

Resources:

8 Infant Sleep Facts Every Parent Should Know by Dr William Sears
What is Attachment Parenting by Diana West, IBCLC
The Science of Attachment: The Biological Roots of Love by Lauren Lindsey Porter
Children Need Touching and Attention, Harvard Researchers Say by Alvin Powell
Early Brain Development: What parents and caregivers need to know by Phyllis Porter, M.A.
The Emotional Infant Brain by Lynn M. Johnson
Mistaken Approaches to Night Waking by Paul M. Fleiss, M.D., M.P.H., F.A.A.P., 2000
Responsive Parenting by Kelley Shirazi
Science Says: Excessive Crying Could Be Harmful to Babies by Dr William Sears
Stress in Infancy by Linda Folden Palmer, D.C.